We had a pretty traumatic relationship fueled by addiction followed by a brutal break up. We’ve been No contact for years and it’s been the best thing for us. He sent a long message the other other night at 1am and it’s been eating at me. He apologized a lot, he asked if we could talk about some of the stuff that’s happened, if I could give him so insight on things about himself and just generally catch up. The thing is, I’m not sure I’m ready to open the door on any of that right now. I’m happy with my life. My sobriety has been a gift that gave me my life back. I want to let him know that I’m grateful he reached out but that I’m not in a place to work through all of that right now, but I really want to tell him I’m sober and how good things are because of it, but I don’t know if I should. The message has made me so uneasy these past couple of days. I’m struggling with my anxiety and my cravings. I don’t want to fall off track because of this.
If its feeling like a trigger, then let it pass. You're not ready.
Block him, delete it and push on. Otherwise your stuck in position you were when it started
I'm with Christopher. Block him. You've been no contact for years for a reason, I'm assuming. Why do you care so much about letting him know you're happy he reached out or how well sobriety is going? Keep that door locked, throw away the key, and keep moving forward.
I know for me I am waiting until I get to the step in AA for making amends before I reach out and apologize to any of my exes. Right now I am focused on healing
I don't think you need to block him, at least not yet. You can tell him you appreciate him reaching out, and like you said, tell him you aren't ready to open that can of worms at this time, and that you might never will be. If he doesn't respect that and persists, block him. You don't owe him anything. You owe it to yourself to stay on the path you are.
People don’t reach out to make you feel better. They reach out to make themselves feel better. So it’s time to decide if after all this time you want to be used in order for him to feel better about himself.