Hey guys, gals
My Uncle killed himself yesterday morning; I wish I could have stopped him but he's in Texas and I am in Tennessee and none of us had any idea he would.
So I slipped, knowing that it wouldn't help, partly to prove it wouldn't and partly just to feel the pain. That's a wrong approach of course because what I really want to feel is joy.
If anyone else has experienced this loss know that there are stages that psychologists have identified in the grief process. We all travel through that process in our own way, as we do in recovery, and eventually we get to where we can move on. This may seem like we don't care but we do; we accept the world as it is, not as we wish it would be.
Friends, I am hurting right now. I don't know when I will stop hurting or when I will be ready to move forward in my life.
I do trust in my higher power, Who created this universe. If you don't believe that, it's fine; we're all in this together. But I do. And hopefully I can be an example and anchoring for all of this; I just have to get through this grieving process for my uncle Mark. He's the one who introduced me to this app, which I am very grateful for.
So, Merry Christmas, let's not forget the joy that we can share. And even though I slipped please have a sober Christmas, or atr lease a sober day today.
I want to add a prayer here because it is on line with what I believe:
Father in Heaven, I do not know your ways. I seek your face in this time as I wish I did always. Today we celebrate when you came to us, showing how we can live and You gave all for us. I trust in you for my provision, please increase that trust. I yearn to be good to my family and friends, please help me to act accordingly. I know I am not lost because you said so, in John 17, but sometimes I feel lost. You have worked through me before, please do so now and forever. I am struggling right now, please take that away; I am weary and heavy laden, please give me rest.
My family is suffering Lord, and my place is with them; I suffer,use this suffering to bless others please.
I really miss my uncle Mark, please with your power bring him to you that I may see him again. I trust in You.
Friends, alcohol or drugs won't bring him back, and my family needs me now more than ever;my dad especially needs me. He lost his brother.
Today, let us rejoice in celebration and hold close those we love; we don't know how many times we can.
I love you guys/gals, thanks for being here with me.
my thoughts are with you 
