My husband and I are both in recovery, but he relapsed this weekend and today again too. I love him but it's hard 2 keep pouring out bottles when in the back of your mind you want it. Any helpful thoughts?
Just know you're not alone..my husband wont quit even though I'm on parole so of course I relapsed.. Just take it one day at a time and maybe suggest he not use in front of you and or not be high around you…i find it easierbto deal with me being sober and him not only if he's not actively high in front of my face…outta sight outta mind kinda thing…
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It's hard to decide to watch or not watch. All his family also agree he has a serious problem and we don't want him to die
Tough! Just got to be real with each other about your futures.
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Sorry but the real truth will not be something he's good at until he's lucid. I understand addiction talking but it's hard to forget all the lying and the broken promises unfortunately it doesn't make it hurt any less
I don't mean to sound harsh but this will be the 20th time to detox or to the hospital this year alone been this way for 11 years. Not mad just exhausted physically and mentally
As hard as this might be sometimes two ppl have to go on separate paths to recover then come back to see if they want the same things.
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It is hard me and my wife are trying to do this also ..The struggle is real
It is a fact the struggle is real especially if both of you are addicts and are trying to recover. But but it sounds like you're the only one in recovery. And I'm sorry to say that your chance of staying in recovery is highly against you. if he's continuing to use around you . You've already admitted you got a problem and are doing something about it. He isn't. How important is your recovery to you?
The unfortunate truth is he has to want the change. you can’t want it bad enough for him to get sober. All you can do is be sober for you, and part he wants it too before it’s too late. I had a friend who would split a case of beer with her husband daily. Her liver started shutting down and she had to quit, and he began drinking the case alone. She needed him sober for her but she could wait for him to decide that was enough.
Have you tried residential treatment?
I'm very confused on what to do, he was in treatment a month ago and he tried heroin there.
Obviously the treatment center wasn’t strict enough. Your husband doesn’t think he has a problem? Maybe losing you will set him straight. are you giving ultimatums?
He's always sorry he says he has a problem after it happens it seems more like pity seeking Behavior. Ultimatums tend to push him to do the wrong thing. Along with pleading screaming and crying nothing has worked
Then maybe sticking to the ultimatum is your last option. There’s so much you can do for someone and until they want to change they won’t. Enabling will just make it last longer and interfere with your sobriety.
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Even though it has failed in the past professional treatment is what he needs, yet again. The problem might be that he's not ready even after all the pain he's caused himself and others.
The lying, refusing to abide by agreements or ultimatums, these are symptoms of his disease. It's nothing to do with you, and that's unfortunate, because it means all the crying and pleading and begging, your sincere heartfelt efforts, aren't going to change him. That's a hard truth.
There's lots of different treatment centers with different approaches. If you want to DM me (anyone can for that matter) I will tell you what location worked for me but I don't believe this should be an advertising platform so I'm not going to just spam the center I went to willy nilly.
Either way I wish you the best. I personally know people who have been to treatment thirty-plus times before it clicked, but professional help really is still the best solution even though it hasn't worked yet.
My heart goes out to you two and I pray you find a program that works.
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Your recovery has to be your first priority. enabling and codependency will not help either one of you.
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Exactly 