10-20-22
So I have this issue with doing something over and over but then not bringing myself to apologize because of the shame and guilt and embarrassment of having to apologize for the same thing over and over. For example if I reply to my wife sarcastically and give her attitude and I know it's wrong and am convicted of it right away but just can't bring myself to say sorry because of that sting. So if adversity builds character and comfort never helps us grow, how do I expect to learn to stop doing this over and over if I can't face the sting "adversity" of the shame guilt and embarrassment. I know for most people, they burn their hand on a hot stove and learn to not touch it again but for me as an addict it takes many times of burning myself to learn because I always try to figure a way to touch it differently without getting burned but it never works. Eventually I will learn to not touch it at all, ever again. So the moral of the story is to just face the uncomfortableness and say I'm sorry so I can face the pain and grow. We are handicapped in our maturity because we never face pain and adversity that is supposed to teach us lessons so we can grow. We want to grow into the best version of ourselves right? That's going to take so hurt and grit. We got this.
