My lady kissed me while she was drinking Hennessy. Out of curiosity has anyone else ever been with someone they believe is trying to sabotage their sobriety. It's been a few different occasions where I find my lady asks me to buy her a bottle, or pour her a drink or hold her drink. Family members have told me she has a lack of compassion for me and I'm really starting to believe it. Not a day goes by where I don't argue with her about the pettiest thing. A lot of the arguments stem from her codependency to me, and her judgment on me for mistakes I've made in the past back when I was a Alcohol dependent asshole. She says I'm still a asshole and have not changed at all since before when I was drinking for breakfast lunch, and dinner, but I feel as if I've made huge adjustments. Acts that I consider selfless, she considers selfish. She wants me to pay all the bills and for her nails cigarettes, and her dogs necessities. I'm kind of in a rock and a hard place because I love her, and love waking up to my daughter everyday, but I'm afraid if I stay with her i will eventually go back to my old ways.
Ummmm, she sounds super toxic. I hope her name is Felicia so you can tell her BYE!
Going back to the old habits won’t help anything. Even if it masks problems for a few hours, don’t kid yourself. Drinking is likely to make things worse and definitely will not make things better.
Sobriety must come before everything else. I was married to someone whose name is Felicia. She was very toxic. I adored ( and still do) my daughters. I stayed because of them and it was not the right decision. 10 1/2 years later I am sober, very close with my daughters, and my wife is still toxic but I am not living there as I had to put my sobriety first in order to be able to have a life for myself and my children. I speak for myself but you must put sobriety first. Good luck.
Definitely sounds like toxic codependency, as well as resentment on her part toward you for getting sober and not enabling her behavior through your actions. Wish you the best, but this doesn’t sound healthy whatsoever.
It definitely sounds like she is throwing a tantrum because you changed the rules. My wife did something similar at the beginning of my sobriety. It took a few months and a ton of talking, but we worked through it. Has she/would she consider going to ALANON? I mean if she straight out is just disrespectful it may be time to cut off the relationship but if she is willing to at least work on her behavior…
Sometimes we need to Take a stand.with growth we learn.what are we willing to put up with.meetings are very important.sometimes we see better ways.