My last drink of alcohol was on July 3rd in the morning. My spouse went out of town that weekend and I had freedom to drink as I pleased. Even though she begged me not to. My youngest (9) was in my care and I spent the whole time trashed. I woke up that day feeling so crappy I had to drink to feel better. My youngest was so upset with me that I had broken all my promises of having special time with her. That was when I decided I had to make a drastic change. The hangover lasted for 5 days. And withdrawal a few more days after that. With working a program on a daily basis I feel I'm building a foundation for a better life. My spouse told me she will never leave our kids behind even if I'm sober. It was a biter pill but I completely understand. That feeling of shame and guilt is someplace I never want to be or feel again. Being honest with myself and others is something I will strive for on a daily basis.
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Healing and rebuilding trust takes time.