My life is such a hot mess. I am so

Recovery
#1

My life is such a hot mess. I am so lost. Thank God for my girlfriends ive known when i got clean in 1996 bc id be fucked if i didnt haventhen in my life. I havenone day today. Im done.
I used monday morning bc i am in a situation that i allowed me to be in amd my emotions took pver. I have no excuse i am responsible for my actions n behavior.

I am so sick of this life i exist in. There has to be more for me to still be sucking oxygen. My family has been ripped apart bu death, cancer, addiction, & self mutilation.
I am
Homeless since my hubby died its a long story. And i miss him so much. I am sp grateful and blessed that i have felt a love togethwr with stan alot of ppl search for tgeir entire lives. I have been fortunate to have been his great love and he was mine!!!
I miss my son, my daughter and my bestfriend Joey.

Addiction is wasting me away in all ways. Its torn up my girls and they barely speak to me thats on me. I jaut want to b better or whats the point??

6 Likes
#3

Sending you hugs and prayers. Something has to give for you and I hope it’s soon

#4

It has beenbsaid "If nothing changes, then nothing changes." And there is the definition of insanity.

I had to make a change if I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I need to work a program, and do all the other things that sober people do, to maintain sobriety. I went to a meeting, heard people share about how their lives are serene and peaceful. They have what I want, I'll do what they do.

For me, encouragement, well wishes and thoughts are nice. That alone won't keep me sober. Being alone isn't the key for me also. I need to be inside a huerd of people to keep me safe, be accountable, and do sober life with. Alcohol is waiting for me to be outside the huerd and bring me down.

When I was so desperate to try something new, the gift of desperation, I started actively working towards long term sobriety, one day at a time.