My life is such a hot mess. I am so

Recovery
#1

My life is such a hot mess. I am so lost. Thank God for my girlfriends ive known when i got clean in 1996 bc id be fucked if i didnt haventhen in my life. I havenone day today. Im done.
I used monday morning bc i am in a situation that i allowed me to be in amd my emotions took pver. I have no excuse i am responsible for my actions n behavior.

I am so sick of this life i exist in. There has to be more for me to still be sucking oxygen. My family has been ripped apart bu death, cancer, addiction, & self mutilation.
I am
Homeless since my hubby died its a long story. And i miss him so much. I am sp grateful and blessed that i have felt a love togethwr with stan alot of ppl search for tgeir entire lives. I have been fortunate to have been his great love and he was mine!!!
I miss my son, my daughter and my bestfriend Joey.

Addiction is wasting me away in all ways. Its torn up my girls and they barely speak to me thats on me. I jaut want to b better or whats the point??

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#3

Sending you hugs and prayers. Something has to give for you and I hope it’s soon

#4

It has beenbsaid "If nothing changes, then nothing changes." And there is the definition of insanity.

I had to make a change if I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I need to work a program, and do all the other things that sober people do, to maintain sobriety. I went to a meeting, heard people share about how their lives are serene and peaceful. They have what I want, I'll do what they do.

For me, encouragement, well wishes and thoughts are nice. That alone won't keep me sober. Being alone isn't the key for me also. I need to be inside a huerd of people to keep me safe, be accountable, and do sober life with. Alcohol is waiting for me to be outside the huerd and bring me down.

When I was so desperate to try something new, the gift of desperation, I started actively working towards long term sobriety, one day at a time.

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#5

@jodi262905 The main thing is that you're here with us. We are ALL a hot mess when we enter recovery. I know I was a complete train wreck when I finally surrounded and fell to my knees screaming for help 37 years ago. You're not alone in this.

Please understand that you are allergic to whatever it was (is) that took you out. You will always have an allergic reaction to whatever it was. That allergic reaction causes you to do stoooopid things. Once again we (I am) glad you're here with us. You'll never be alone.

Our promises clearly state that you will know a new freedom and a new happiness. These two promises come true along with the others on a daily basis. If they didn't I wouldn't have stayed and continued to stay sober for over the past 37+ years. If I can do it so can you.

I'm here/hear for you.

Btw :tada::tada: CONGRATULATIONS :tada::tada: on your 43 days of sobriety.

ODAAT KCB

IGY6

1 Like