My mom is a dry drunk

I am staying with her over the summer. My sobriety has affected our relationship. I find it hard to be around her. I told her tonight that she is verbally abusive. She did not react very well to that but it was nice to say it out loud.

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It’s good you are sober and seeing life through clear lenses.
I hope you have the AA fellowship, and if not, now is a great time to get to meetings for support!

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I have a sponsor working the steps with me and I've been going to at least a meeting a day, sometimes two! It keeps me sober

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It’s awesome that you had the courage to speak your truth! Trying to have these kind of convos when you’re sober and healing but the other person is spiritually sick can be really daunting.

Amazing keep it up

Chloe, dry drinks are a big challenge for sure. My step mom was a dry drink on wheels :sweat_smile:
You may want to check out Al-Anon Meeting Search - Al-Anon Family Groups

Good morning Chloe I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. With your mom? It is hard once we start to recover and getting better. And we see our loved ones still struggling. And then the anger that they are holding onto affects us. Especially they’re all behaviors still going on. The one thing I would recommend is read the Big Book page 417. Hopefully this helps. Have an amazing day.

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That’s fantastic. You’re on the right track.

It might benefit you to attempt sharing your feelings and how she is making you feel, rather than just calling her abusive… because although it might be true- it will be met with resistance because it feels like a direct and general attack. I just know exactly how difficult this situation can be.

Hope that helps a little, it’s also helpful to share that you just want to have healthy communication and that it’s a team effort. Admit that you’re not perfect, admit that you make mistakes, let her know you know we’re all human, but idk. It helped me.

If anything, or anyone comes between my sobriety and me, I cut them out of my life. I can't sponsor my family members even if they want to join the fellowship of AA. My sobriety is my priority, which means that anyone who is a hindrance to that (as sad and tragic as it is sometimes) has had to be cut out of my life.

I have had to cut ties with several family members early on in my recovery because they added undue stress to my life. I am happy to now say that they are back in my life. Only after going through all 12 steps, and practicing those principles in ALL my affairs taught me how to approach them in sobriety.

I'm praying for you! I would bring that situation up in a meeting, and follow the suggestions that are offered to you from someone who has gone through exactly what you're going through! :pray:t2::heart:

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Good for you Chloe. It's probably long overdue.

Always protect your peace from toxicity..sometimes we are to distance ourselves from people even our own family members..your real family are those who who support you,encourage you,understands you,who love and accept you as the way you are..never let toxic relationships or narcissist relationships interrupt your sobriety..keep pressing forward..keep surrendering,keep crying out loud to the one who created you that knows you in and out..never give up..never give in..never

Stay strong I know it's hard especially close relationships but just remember we can't control people places or things much love super proud of you !