My name is Ashley and I’m struggling with life my husband has been in rehab for 2 months and I have 3 boys and before I knew it my life consumed me I’m also an addict I know I can’t use or I’m not me but I broke and drank and nothing good of course came from it I just know better but I feel so alone and this feeling is worse than a drug
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Thanks so much is there free zoom everywhere i found cost hard to take 3 boys to meeting
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Take a deep breath. We all have been where you are it’s part of recovery for most of us. Try zoom meetings and plenty of fresh air and 
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Thanks
Hi Ashley, someone said we've all been there and I say "Amen" to that. Here's a thought, this relapse is a blessing 
you made a choice to do something different, you made it through and lived, God stepped in on your behalf, and you trusted that because your sharing with us. Look at you!!!! You just rocked steps 1,2, and 
3.
You are on 
fire stick and stay baby girl:revolving_hearts:
Things get better in sobriety but you have to start from where you're at. There's an old saying, "It's 10 miles into the woods and 10 miles back out."
Your relapse is water under the bridge. Learn from it.
Next time you're thinking about using or drinking play the scene all the way forward. What's going to happen after you use? You're going to end up right back where you're at right now or maybe worse and then you'll have to start all over again. The wheel goes round and round and it's up to you to stop it.
I call it believing the big lie; that this time, drinking will be ok.
It never is, is it?
Going to meetings helps quite a bit and being around people that have been right where you're at. We have a saying in AA that meeting makers make it. Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life. But I had to put forth the effort in order to find happiness in sobriety. If you do that, your life will get better one day at a time. That's a promise.
Not sure about the drugs part but if you drank a lot of alcohol you can mix yourself some honey and orange juice to curb the cravings. Anything sweet really.
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You are not alone. I know it feels that way but you are not!
You pick yourself up, recognize you can’t change the past, learn from this, and move forward. The only other option is to sit on your pitty pot, which is never fun for long 
We are all human and no one can do everything perfectly. Remember to give yourself a break.
Cocaine Anonymous (CA) also has online meetings at www.ca-online.org. CA uses AA literature but allows you to identify as either an addict and/or alcoholic and be sober and/or clean. It is where my recovery heart lives. 
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Hang in there Ashley. I know isolation can be horrible. 24 hrs at a time my friend✌🏼
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The way I felt the last time a drank and was worst than imaginable, like loosing your best friend to death. The pain was a push, all I could do was drag my self into the near by meeting and hold on to my depressed ass , that pain has helped me stay sober for 11 years, has it been easy NO.
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Eff that. Go to a meeting if you have one to get to. We’ve had kids kicking and screaming. You need yours too. Go get it. 
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Thanks I knew better I don’t even like to drink I emotionally relapsed first that my true poison I knew I can’t drink I just felt so alone and helpless
Thanks this means so much wish I knew about this 3 days ago
Yea I had 10 year
Not looking back thanks to all of you
Yes its like a kick in the pants, I have to practice my 10th step, a way to get this crap out, draw some, but nothing cool because this last year has not felt cool, its getting better, tone them character defects down, that committee in my head.
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Hi Ashley
For sure
I think You have been here before and this is not going to be the last time you feel like this so maybe while your partner is getting clean start paying the groundwork for you to do the same and see whether that takes you. There’s always a struggle before the Light, but the Light always comes after the struggle my friend.
:fire:
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