He’s finishing treatment and then a couple days later going to another program and i know he’s gonna relapse and i’m thriving and back on track and it’s like why did he go to treatment if he is gonna duck up again? like i get if you relapse after treatment but not planning it. Plus the new program he’s been to before and when he left he told me we needed to not be together and “on break” and he ducking moved to another city for this girl he was in treatment with and had “fun in the backseat” with this girl and then she ghosted him— all this time when i was at treatment. Ducking MAKES ME SCARED
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Sounds like he isn’t ready to stop anything he’s doing currently. I can think of a few people that do the same thing..
I wanted to share a picture with you.. I just saw it right now on another persons post.
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But it won’t let me
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Glad to hear that you are thriving and back on track.
If your working your program and staying sober then you’re in great shape!
I have learned that what others do is out of my hands and beyond my control.
As for fear, the program allows us to “outgrow fear”
Keep coming back.
ODAAT
Take the time to focus on you and your recovery.
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Sarah the simple and hard fact to face is that your “Person” should be yourself. We are people pleasers but for this you need to be as selfish as you can be. You need to worry about you and you only. Ours addictions are at our front doors just waiting for the right moment to kick the door in. You may see caring for him and others as your best quality but your addiction is gonna see it as the chink in your armor. Just this time. Just for today think about yourself only. Seems like such backward advice but I want you to live.
Never work harder on someone else's recovery than they are.
You can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change.. you have to work on you.. I learned this when I came out of prison.. I thought I was going to change my siblings that lived next door to me.. but after almost 4 years of living in chaos I had to move away from them and their addiction.. I have to live for myself and my sobriety.. move on and let him do whatever he’s going to do..
As has already been stated, it doesn't sound like this person you're referring to is ready for sobriety. If he's not your husband and only a boyfriend, I would think strongly about separating yourself from him until he can demonstrate some serious stability in that regard.
Otherwise, he will drag you down with him. I've seen this many times.
Your only job now is to heal.
Sounds like maybe he’s not your person.