My pink cloud dissolved

It gets better. Promise. Don’t give up. Withdrawal is a rough but temporary. Go through it once instead of using and never making it through. Relapses drag out withdrawal needlessly. Work on thinking more positive. There is hope. Promise

I’m with you Victoria …. Currently been feeling the same

Have you tried a therapist yet? I would say, for me anyway, therapy was what helped the most.
I tried AA but all they did was talk about alcohol, didn't really help.
My therapist gave me tools that helped and also was able to identify some mental health issues I was not aware I had.
I would suggest you look into it...the part about "You can have a quiet, well behaved mind" part sounds very familiar.

Took me about 6 months to shake it. Felt real crappy about life in general for quite a while. It passes. It’s just part of it.