I'm reading all the wonderful praises about being in recovery. My heart power is our lord jesus christ , who protects me and guides me. As some, you may know\nI was disowned in 2014. My 3 children cut me out of their lives.Never thought it would last , but it has. By the way , that is a quote , yet , for some of you , I hate to say. Well my son 
Joshua's 41 birthday is today. I say Achilles heel, because it was always such a self pity destructive party ; that ended up in hurting myself even more.\n He was my first born, beautiful young man.\n And I never thought that I would lose him. Remember to thine own self be 
true. Since I have\nBeen honest with myself and in doing so become stronger. I know that my lord will always take care of my children as he does me. I have had what are called hiccups. ( I termed ) throughout these 10 months of my sobriety.\nAnd yes, I always feel stronger when I have not picked up.\nFor whatever reason. Oh well, its raining out.Let's go get a twenty!! Need I say more? I 
have not enjoyed feeling intense emotions.\n But I have learned that I will not die over it. Not using has been teaching me what a selfish 
stranger. That I am. It shocked me this time.\nAnd I am now a part of a wonderful group , my boyfriend , who is in recovery , also told me , and it is called"" whatever it takes group"". It's okay today after 11 years.I do not have to prove myself or take a drug test. sure I cry and pray that I will see them.\nJust one more time before I die.\nTrust me. The self loathing is gone, working on character defects?\n I'm a typical self-absorbed addict, and I could write a book about the nonsense that I have Put my poor children through and I only have myself to blame. I was dreading this day. Because Josh will always break my 
heart. Now I'm in that mode of\n Hating the drug that ruined my life.\n Jails, institutions and death. There's only one to complete. I don't want you to pity me but learn from me. Hold your family close to you please. My lesson is done for the day.Thank you for letting me share. Take Heed my fellow friends. Happy birthday my son. You know I will always love you, Mom
I dishoned my mother after a lifetime of abuse and sabotage and the final straw was finding a burned heroin spoon in my infants baby bath. She continued in her addiction which lead her to a few programs. She worked hard at sobriety and continues too. We now talk again after years of absence. Keep up the good work, don't forget to pray and be patient and remind yourself all in God's time. Have a blessed day sister.
I enjoy reading your beautiful honesty. Yes, I became a follower of Jesus Christ, September 16th 2025. I smoked my last piece of crack, and just burst into tears, kneeled on the floor for humility at the on my bed, and Cryed out to god to jesus christ that I want to live even when we have had the roughest times and felt abandoned he helped remind me that he has\nCarried me lots of times. 
i was always frustrated.\nHow other people had totally surrendered , and I didn't know how to. And it finally happened.\n I cleaned my house got rid of paraphernalia. Blocked numbers told my quote, friends. Not to come over and obeying the Holy Spirit, and it's been wonderful David, I'm even celibate and intend because we have to work on ourselves. Sorry, that too long.God bless you and your family, David.\nAnd let's be friends.Thank you love lauren