My sobriety isn't always rainbows and butterflies...my sobriety is raw,true,dark and ugly. Addictions never goes away no matter the length of being clean or sober or in my case both. I have day's where I'll hurt anyone just to get meth,crush and snort my meds or to pick up the bottle. I then start jonezing really bad to the point that I'm acting out in ways but somehow still manage to stay clean and sober. Ya I smoke weed despite my CHS but the weed helps my mental illnesses, especially my C-PTSD. It's better than me using meth and other hard drugs. My sobriety has also made me gain more than I ever lost while in active addictions. My sobriety is something no one can take away from me but myself. I'm proud of how long I've been clean and sober for. I'm proud of how far I've come
Way to go!!!!
Sounds so similar. Addiction is so dark and ugly. I was so use to using for every occasion. Weather it was a good one or bad one. Over 20 years of it. Now I just stick to my medical marijuana. It helps my nerves ptsd and my mind wandering to dark places. I've been clean now 59 days! And I just pray this is it. I still have my days were i just want my energy back but I just want to feel normal. Whatever that is. Im really pushing for positive days. Everyday!! Im proud of how far I've made it! You should definitely be proud of yourself! This s* ain't easy 
Sobriety will be easy. It will be composed of ice cream, orgasms and pixie dust farts .. said no one
Sobriety will not be easy that's for sure. Why? Because life still happens. Just because we get sober does not mean we get a free hall pass in life.
Chris, it's unfortunate that you're going through what you're going through.
We all are going through stuff in life. The question is, what are you going to do with it?
Just whatever you do, its not worth drinking/using over it.
You got this my friend.
We are hear/here for you.