My soul is tired . I'm tired of my addiction to gambling taking over and meth I am spiritually dead . I'm scared to death om 36 never have went to a program longer than 2 weeks . My self is sabotaging my self
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Have you tried GA my friend did those meeting a lot with AA/NA. We all sabotage ourselves. But there comes a time you need to decide If you really want the help out there and take the big first step or DIE I would prefer to live.
Good morning Tabatha congratulations on 36 years alive.
I know it’s hard when we are in it and not to believe or feel there’s a way out.
Do you have a sponsor? I tell the people that I am working with is. And this is through my own experience.
Is that a sponsor is someone that has already gone through more likely the same pain I have or you have.
And that Sponsor can help you through the 12 steps find that hope in that freedom that you were searching for.
I am truly grateful for the 12 steps and the men and women who have been a part of my life to help me get something that I never thought I would have that is
Total absence from all drugs and alcohol.
I pray that you also and everyone here also receives that
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Good morning Tabatha! I can totally relate to feeling spiritually dead because of gambling and meth! There was not a single day that you would not find me in one casino or another, all lit up-all to escape from reality. What helped free me from those chains was first going to an inpatient rehab to get away from both. For me, the 2 went hand in hand. The rehab got me to see what I was doing and why I was doing it, and shortly after rehab became my solid foundation where I began my journey. Once I completed rehab, I began doing meetings, try doing 90 meetings in 90 days. Once you keep going to meetings and finding like minded people, you will be sure to know you are not alone in this. And that there is a solution. I wish you the best of luck 
I made the first step I called a treatment center 6nmonth program and as soon as bed is available in 5days I will check in . I am scared anxious and positive Abt this new journey I'm ready to be Lazarus and be brought from death to life . I'm excited Abt being sober and I am on day one