I recently went on this huge binge and thought I was doing just fine. In reality I was far from it. Someone I had been dating (he also was a heavy drinker) ghosted me. Like any other animal that’s been wounded I lashed out. I of course was drunk when I did so. I told him really mean and hateful stuff. He did me wrong but tried to reason with me and explain why he did what he did. I did NOT want to hear any reason and just kept being so evil. That’s not me. I’m not a evil person. Now the remorse has kicked in. I handled all of it like a complete idiot. I’m going to be 33 years old this coming October but here I sit crying like an idiot because I have no control of my actions. I don’t even know who I really am anymore. I’ve been a hard going alcoholic for almost half my life now. If you read this far thank you for listening. I just feel so completely lost and so very lonely. Just needed to vent somewhere safe.
Hey, don't feel lonely! Everyone here has the same or similar or even worse situations. We are all regretting of out actions in some way or another. Don't even trip on it. Take care of yourself or you have absolutely nothing to offer anyone else (if that what you want to do,) but also just for yourself.
You’ll get through this. It happens when we are under the influence & it’s just another reason why we have to stay sober “Just For Today”…I’m personally learning to love myself in all of this & I know you can do the same. And if you got ghosted that should tell you something too about him…keep good company because you deserve it. You got this & you gotta friend in me!
Thank you for that. I didn’t realize I needed someone to say don’t trip out on it. Just focus on healing. Like I know it sounds stupid but I’m such a caring person when I’m sober. So knowing I spewed such hatred really scared me. Thank you!
You’re so nice! Thank you. I appreciate all your kind and helpful words. I wanna get to where you’re at. I want to start learning self love and just be upbeat like you! One day at a time. Thank you for being a friend.
We are all capable of acting like a$$holes when we are drunk/using etc. You're not special in that regard. It comes with the territory, that's why we have to stay out of that space. Hang in there, make strong moves forward, calculated moves not spontaneous brash decisions. Get a sober accountability friend, maybe, like a sponsor or something. Prosper.
Thanks for being so straightforward/real. I appreciate it. I can’t wait to be so confident with my sobriety.
It's better some days than others. Helping others helps me. It will for you too.
My sponsor told me day one… don’t pick up, don’t be a d!ck… I didn’t get it at first and I was a complete b@stard to my wife when I was still drinking. It took time and work but I overheard her talking to a girlfriend the other day. She said “I can really see the difference and I am so happy he got sober” relationships can be mended, regrets can be pushed back, and we can move forward. Good luck to you.
It’s not always easy but we do recover…you just have to truly want it for you. Look in the mirror & reassure yourself daily that you are worth it!
Angelica. I feel your pain. I will be 31 in November. I am lost and I’m scared because I don’t know if I can find myself. I’ve been sober less than 48 hours and all I want to do is pick up the bottle so I can forget all of the stupid things I did during my 4 day binger this weekend. Fortunately, you can’t buy liquor at this time. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m not sure how this app works, but I’m here if you’d like a friend that also wants to get sober.
Oh my gosh I’m literally lost and scared as well. I sent you a friend request! I would definitely love to chat with you more. I literally did the same thing. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed as well but that’s in the past. Let’s focus on the future and not pick up the bottle and dig ourselves into an even deeper hole of shame. I’m right here with you!! Stay strong and please accept my friend request so we can chat more privately 
I used to beat myself up over relapses, but found out it's a waste of perfectly good time. I've finally strung together 17 months sober and going to meetings by keeping it simple. I used to try and rush everything like finding my higher power. Well god found me. I used to think the promises were bs, but they've all come true...Never give up!
Check out Loving Kindness Meditation. It’s not Mindfulness meditation. The purpose of loving kindness meditation is to help you to love yourself. I was very bad and still I am To a certain extent. Are used to have negative thinking and that was a huge trigger for me. And sent me to the hospital emergency department five times. My SUD Psychologist is the one that told me about LKM.
You can find some awesome loving kindness meditation videos on YouTube. They’re guided meditation. Please check it out
Oh my gosh thank you so much! I’m going to order it today. I need all the help I can get.