My world feels like it’s falling apart. I don’t understand

Recovery
#1

My world feels like it’s falling apart. I don’t understand it, my daughter showed us no respect for Christmas. They never came to see us and gifts still sitting here which is tearing my heart out. I feel like I am being tested so much and thoughts of drinking are really overpowering me because of the hurt I feel. I haven’t done anything stupid because I have so many people to reach out to but when I tell you I feel broken, I am not kidding.

Today I am thinking of just dropping the gifts off at her front door (she is working) just to not keep looking at them. What hurts too is they spend Christmas with in-laws like we didn’t exist. I am sorry for rambling. Just don’t know the right thing to do anymore. Heartbroken hurts.

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#2

Nancy, I'm sorry for the pain you are experiencing. Life with family can be very difficult, and it sounds like your daughter has some growth still ahead of her. Good for you for reaching out... stay strong... and focus on those who show you love right now.

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#3

I found myself in a similar situation this Christmas with family.
I suggest you try reading the first full paragraph on page 62 of the big book.
It helped me.

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#4

I will do that. I just can’t believe the disrespect. :sob:

#5

I know, it’s pointless and mean.

#6

That is a hard question. I typed my suggestion both way to leave them or to knock and do it nicely and in person. Both are effective but could also cause a negative affect. I know that isn’t very helpful. I generally lean towards filling them with kindness like it doesn’t bother. I know that is hard to do.

#7

Hi Nancy, I am sorry to hear about your hurt. One things, of many, that my recovery has taught me, is that I CANNOT be responsible in any way for others actions or reactions. I can only do me, and my part. This was a very hard lesson to accept, as I have always tried to be a giver. You did your part, that is what you can do. I know you may have been hoping for a different response, but we in no way have any control over that, nor should we ever want that type of control. Please keep working on you, doing your part, and understand that that is enough, YOU ARE ENOUGH. Yes, there are times that will hurt, but we learn from that, grow, and eventually rest easy with peace knowing we did our best.

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#8

I have a boyfriend who has never bought me a gift for my birthday or Christmas ever. I hate Christmas now

#9

I don’t care about gifts honestly I am torn because for the first time in 38 years I have no Christmas pictures with my daughter. Then to just see the mother-in-law like we don’t exist is just too much to bear. But I stuck to my program went to my meetings and cried at most of them. This hurt is unbearable.