Narcissist

So one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my recovery is a narcissistic ex wife,who always has to try and hurt me over and over I have a son w her so hard to just ditch communication . People like this will try and hurts us so we screw up so they can say see your still the same they will use birthdays and holidays to hurt you the most.it truly makes sobriety harder to achieve .but w a good support system and well for me a good therapist also it makes it easier to deal with. But it still hurts.

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Prayers for you :pray:

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This is tough. I watched a lot of videos on YouTube on narcissistic behavior. It helped me understand their evil ways.

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I watch them all the time it’s how I learned how to deal w them

I'm currently in the same situation. Hopefully it gets easier. Doesn't seem like it does.

In some ways yes if ya watch some support videos about them ya kinda learn how the dance goes and it helps they will never change so it’s on us to change how much interaction we have w them and how we handle that interaction my ex and I only e mail at this point w some in person and some phn only if it’s urgent
It’s hard but like sobriety it takes work

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I’m also in a similar situation. He will use anything he can to hurt me. I’m the primary parent but he has no problem telling our children hateful lies about me. Good thing my children are old enough to see the truth by our actions. I pray it will get easier.

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I have been watching YouTube videos from Dr. Ramani, who specializes in narcissism. Her videos have helped me tremendously in dealing with my narcissistic sibling. She does talk about co-parenting with a narcissist as well. Wish you luck, and hope things get better for you soon.

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It will sorry you have to go through this as well

Thank you Vanessa

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I sure hope this gets better for everyone. At least we can face these things with a sober mind, and not destroy ourselves further.

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These people are sick, meaning mentally, emotionally & spiritually ill.
As a recovering addict & narcissist, I know first hand how truly SICK I was and can easily be if I don’t seriously treat & maintain my sobriety and spiritual growth. I endeavor to have compassion for sick people. Much easier said than done! It’s a practice and mostly incremental progress.
Also I try to see my part in toxic relationships. My goal is to transcend. Progress, not perfection. I hope this helps with perspective :pray:

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Thanks bro appreciate that

Sorry Billy. That does suk. I dealt with similar with my own ex for a decade. My brother in law overdosed to much extent due to the games his kids mom played with him.
Best advice I can give you is to keep communication to a bare minimum. For those of us who want to be involved and want to coparent this can be tough but if she doesn't care to work with you it is all for nothing anyway. Second, do whatever you have to in order to not let her have power over your thoughts, feelings and actions. For me this was extremely tough and until I truly begin to apply with tons of consistency, the principles of absolute surrender (i.e. the serenity prayer), my efforts were often lost to my own anger, hurt and depression. The kids will one day see her actions for what they are. Not that this is a positive takeaway either, but it proves true more often than. not.

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Thanks man that’s sound advice :+1:t3: