Narrowly escaped a relapse yesterday

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#1

Narrowly escaped a relapse yesterday. I went out to pick up a few things from the gas station. I was feeling super lonely and stuck being at home so I decided I wanted to be social after leaving the gas station. I went to hang out with a friend who is usually not sober, and I was so triggered.

The only reason I stayed strong is because I wouldn’t have been able to find what I wanted anyway. As I couldn’t get my first choice- I ended up calling my toxic ex, going to his house, and just crying and crying. I opened that freaking can of worms and I really shouldn’t be in contact with him.

I know I’m supposed to avoid places and people that are unhealthy but I’m so freaking lonely.

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#2

I am happy that you did not relapse. My husband is a whiskey drinker and always has several bottles around. That is how I relapsed on Christmas Eve. Recovery is difficult with the whiskey around here. But I never give up. I had 80 days sober before Christmas Eve. Stay strong.

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#3

I can’t imagine how hard it is to live with someone who is still drinking. God bless

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#4

He really wants me to fail, but I can be stronger then that!

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#5

I hope he doesn't! He should care and support your decisions, not want to bring you down, just sayin. I'm in a similar situation where my partner is also an alcoholic, we're both trying to quit.

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#6

He will never quit! But fortunately he does not drink everyday, and does not get real drunk anymore. He is 72, has balance problems. He knows if he falls down that I would have to call for outside help to get him up.

#7

Hang in there Kathy! You seem like a strong person.

#8

Have you looked into the events here in the app? I know a lot of areas you will only find online events but connection is connection, plus they are sober friendly.

#9

Don't feel lonely. We all are with you.

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#10

I am strong! 11 years ago my Son died on his 29 th birthday from drinking!

#11

Are you a spiritual person? When you’re alone it’s the universe wanting time with you un distracted to connect with you.

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#14

Believe me it’s so true people places and things very happy to the grace of God you did not slip. I have been there and have on the hard way I think whatever your higher power is and be grateful that you’re not recovering from a hangover and guilt. Stay well be well be safe God bless. :pray:t2:

#15

Proud you didn’t use Laura. So proud of u. But, the toxic ex is just that. Toxic! If u go backwards you will for sure relapse. I’m only saying this bc I’ve done the same thing. And it only got me into trouble. One night after 30 years sober. And it messed my life up so bad. Still going thru it. Lonely is so hard to get thru. I get it. Try to back away from the toxic ex if you still can and continue on the path of being sober and smart. U won’t be lonely for long. And You will find a person that deserves you. Clean and sober. So proud you are clean today. Take credit for you staying sober thru a tough time. Reach out to everyone that is clean. Always here for you. M

#16

I just got sober 30 something days ago, I totally understand what you're saying and it's totally normal to want to be a part of the chaos. Especially when you are crawling out of your skin from being so lonely. It's not a good time. Try and dig deep and think of why you are feeling this way. Is something bothering you in your life that you may be able to change? I can tell you want to be free from an addiction so my suggestion would be to pray. Go back to the basics when feeling squirley. It's harder to get sober than it is to stay sober so hold on babe!!! You can do it.

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#17

We have all been where you are…. It is hard but you can do it. Don’t pick up, go to a virtual aa meeting or live local AA meeting. You can share and reach out for help. This is a “we” program. We are in this together! We cannot get sober and stay sober alone. My first 2 years were very hard. Anxiety, fear, shame,….I listened to those who were there before me…. I am now 10 years 2 months sober. Life is really good, one day at a time :pray:.

#18

Acknowledging and understanding gets you more than halfway there.

#19

Be proud. I’m lonely too
Be proud​:pray::pray::heart::heart::heart:

#20

So glad you didn’t use. That shows real strength. Try to keep reaching out. I know loneliness is so hard

#21

Work for a cause not for applause live life to express not to impress

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#22

Being alone is one of the struggles I think we all go through in recovery at one point or another. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing and it doesn’t have to be always. Start going to meetings they have 24/7 NA meetings and AA meetings on zoom and in person! Once you find a meeting you like make it your home group! Get to know the people in your home group and call them and even hang out with them . Me and two other members of mine went to lunch the other day! Also after you feel comfortable with the group you can start to do service work which will help you get out of your head and start to help others who are struggling! Here’s a couple zoom links to meetings I attend on a regular
100258932 10 am pacific m-sun
100261693 12 pm pacific sun-tues good luck and stay safe

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