So here's the scoop. 6 and a half years sober. Newly single after 16 years. Said she just fell out of love. To which i agreed that i saw it coming. When i got sober i took one path and she kept on the other. Still parties 3 or 4 times a week. Her drinking partners and social media followers (she's trying to become Instagram famous) have become her focus. 2 kids together. Still live with the ex while trying to save for a place cause she said she wants to still be friends and co-parent. Yet i feel the animosity. The only reason she didn't kick me out( her dad left her the house when he passed) is because she doesn't want to look like the villain to our kids. So attempt to make me uncomfortable so I leave is her tactic.
Now that that is out... I refuse to drink. She said " i just don't want you to go back to drinking" i did not quit for her so i refuse to let her be the reason that i throw everything that I worked so hard for away because of her. I am not mad or resentful. Disappointed yes but not mad. You have to give someone permission to upset you. She does not get to have that power over me.
When God closes one door another on opens. He can't open the other til it's shut so the negative energy can't follow you. A week after she ended it. I was approached with the opportunity to follow a dream that I've had since getting sober. Opening a non alcoholic brewery. So now I'm in the midst of making that happen.
Everything that has happened in my life had to happen the way it did when it did to put me in the exact spot that i am today. I do not regret the past for it made me who i am today. I chair aa meetings... People have come to me to have sit downs with family members... God pulled me out of the fire with all these experiences so i could go back in and pull others out.
Thank you for letting me get this out.
As the philosophical fish dory says " just keep swimming." H.E.L.L doesn't go on forever if you keep swimming you'll swim right out. Its when you stop that you're trapped.
