Save yourself! You are not responsible for other’s behavior. As a fairly new man in recovery you don’t need the extra stress of this toxic relationship.
I think the best thing you can do to support a loved one in active addiction is to set firm boundaries. You are to close to her to help her yourself. I would cut off any interaction with her that could be triggering to you until she has some solid recovery time. It may feel like you’re giving up on her but if you do it with love it could help motivate her to get help. The most important thing is your own recovery. Without that you have nothing.
1 Like
I have about a year and a half sober.
1 Like
Your right why would I welcome her back it’s cause I know she won’t die here. I’m a mess
Please don’t lose that because it’s so hard to come back. 
You need to call 911 the next time she is messed up and that will get her into rehab. You need to be strong for you. She keeps drinking she will die whether your there or not. She may get upset with you but will thank you later. Good luck my friend your in a horrible predicament
Hello Daniel,
I’m literally in the same exact position. A little background for you. I was using fentanyl and meth predominately since early September of last year till late February this year. My girlfriend was sober and encouraging me to go to Betty Ford and I kept giving her excuses to run around etc. etc. I finally went in and was super grateful to her for getting me and only to come out and now she’s hooked on fentanyl and meth and I’m basically three months sober trying to navigate that whole situation. I had a choice of living with her, and trying to help her I chose my sobriety. Instead, I moved into a sober living and continue to talk to her and offer help only to have her accuse me of abandoning her, especially when as she puts it, and reminds me all the time she saved my life by getting me to Betty Ford how could I now just turned a blind eye on her so it’s guilt accusations all of those things I finally said to her like I just can’t talk to you anymore and completely close the door on the relationship if it’s meant to be down the road and she’s sober and I’m sober and we’re both able to take a look at our relationship and see if it’s something that we want to entertain then great but as some of the other sober mates on this app have said to you the number one thing is your recovery. If you hang around a barbershop you’re going to get a haircut as cheesy is that line may be it is true so take care of yourself. I wish you the best, Daniel.
1 Like
I apologize for the run-on sentence doing the talk to text while driving
Feel free to reach out 310-505-5325
Wow Brody. So happy that you put your sobriety first. That’s awesome. When people are addicted to alcohol drugs whatever as you know are the best manipulators. I received a call one morning at 4 am the message was left that basically this woman was going to drink because I didn’t answer my phone, of course me being me, I immediately called and messaged her. I was sad to think it was my fault that she drank. Well I had her sponsors number so I immediately called her and she assured me that if she did drink it wasn’t my fault that she is a “manipulator”. She really opened my eyes. So I am glad you weren’t manipulated by her and so proud that you did the right think. We as addicts (for me alcohol) we can be so vicious and we want to take everyone with us. Payers for you that you got away. Tough love is always recommended. 
1 Like