I am just so scared of relapsing and going back to jail. I don’t want that
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Kimberly, it’s good to be cautious, but there’s no need to be scared if you have a program. What does your program look like today?
Fear is one of the reasons we drank or used in the first place. Fear of people, places and feelings. Like Josh said be cautious but not fearful. Working a program, fellowship, accountability all will lead to spiritual peace and the diminishing of that fear. Just do the next right thing, and you will be good.
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I was just telling my wife the other night after I screwed up and drank after a month that one of the things that terrifies me is I am numb to fear. I have been in so much trouble in the past and if I get in trouble again it’s a felony and prison. Despite knowing this I have still gone out to the bar got drunk and drove home so for me I wish I had some fear. That statement that we are powerless over alcohol is true. I’m committed to this new attempt at sobriety which is why I’m here and my advice is just to use whatever emotions you have as motivation and not barriers. Turn that fear into power to change. You’re on this app so that’s awesome and I hope for the best for you!
You deserve a commitment to a program that works if you work it. It doesn’t just happen to you. Keep coming back. Deflate the ego. 90 meetings 90 days. Get phone numbers. Use them. Read the big book. Get a sponsor. What have you got to lose.
It really a commitment to yourself. And everyone deserves sobriety