Im new here and im struggling. I once made it almost 10 years clean and sober....had a traumatic event and started drinking again... this was 6 years ago.... then the drugs start creeping back in and now thats all i want... i had a blow up on november 10th and decided on the 11th id try again... i did decent.. then my grandfather passed very suddenly on december 28th....i moved into my grandparents home this summer to help take care of them (they raised me because my mother is a heroin addict) so i wanted to be there for them.... anyway...this triggered me again and i started drinking again... i feel like ive lost everything in my life (my kids my career my home ...my sanity) i just feel so lost... i dont know what im supposed to do anymore...
Keep fighting 
As long as I keep pushing forward I know I have a chance. Never give up no matter what
Pick yourself up and start again. You know what to do, you just have to figure out where you went wrong and get help to get yourself past that. You can do it. You might have lost something right now, but you can get kids, a career and a home again. Stop counting yourself out
Dust yourself off and pick up the pieces. Speak positivity into your life everyday you wake up and take self inventory before you go to bed at night.
Do you have someone that is there to help you ?
Welcome,,
Continue reaching out, continue showing up for yourself, find a faith in a God of your own understanding…. We’re all here to help
Are you working with a sponsor?
I learned not to fight alone.
I’m here if you want to talk
I dont have one no. And I stay out of the meetings here in town, they're not a good fit...
No not really
Thank you everyone!!!
I never did meetings. You can tell talk to me if you need a person to talk to . Sober 6 plus years. I did it my way.
I have been sober and drug free for 11 months. Now my wife is missing for almost a month and a half she's living with a drug dealer I'm still sober but I feel like I'm losing the battle. I'm pushing for an annulment but they say I have to be separated for 6 months she's still calls me and harasses me I have been assaulted by her it's not good
Well I’m sorry to hear that. I sponsor over the phone.
Thank you!! And im proud of you!
Get an epo/restraining order. Then she can't contact you...if she does you can have her arrested (this could maybe help her clean up too?) I'm sorry you're going through all that
Sometimes all we can do is breathe. And keep reaching out. Praying for you
Been there having lost EVERYTHING after having relapsed after years of recovery. Speaking for myself only, what I had "to do," reflecting on the utter destruction and defeat, was realize an undeniable truth. After all that -I was still alive. Unbelievable!!! And that INHERENTLY means God still had/has a purpose for me. I was/am blessed with the opportunity. Now I can TRULY be empathetic with others; what came before was lip service. I can GENUINELY get my heart involved towards others. That's my purpose (duh) (lol)!!! "God is either everything or he is nothing. He either is or He isn't"....
Dominique
You got this.
The nice thing is is no one can ever take away the time you once had. So don't best yourself up.
I pray for you to get through this 
it might take all strength that you have
Keep coming back!