I was wondering how long it took members to have as much fun without alcohol as with. I just started going down this path and despite a couple of years of binge drinking leading to regular regrets... I still feel most anything I would want to do or go is less enjoyable without alcohol and nothing appeals to me know.
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I used to feel that way when I was younger. And then one day, drinking just didn’t do it for me anymore. I was sick and tired of the aftermath of a night of irresponsible partying. There was always something negative attached. Being sick from a hangover. Someone getting in a fight. Dwi’s. Wasted money. Don’t get me wrong there were good times too. I learned I could have good times without having to put myself through many hardships. Keep going.
The journey is different for everyone. For me it was about a year. When I was early in sobriety I was feeling the same way. My wife was the one who told me it was okay to have fun. It was a while before o allowed myself to believe it. Once I did… it was like a cloud was lifted. You can get there… you have to allow yourself.
I know it's different for everyone. I'm just trying to get an idea of what I'm in for. I used to be a fun drunk. Then I turned into a mr hyde who binge drinks until he blacks out and says horrible things to the people I care about. Stuff I would never do sober. I feel horrible about it and I want to associate being drunk with how bad I feel for the way I act... but I don't. To me I just resent that I can't drink in moderation anymore everything else appeals to me less then going out and having a good time with a few cocktails... getting loose... shooting the breeze. It just doesn't end up so harmless and I'm afraid that life will always seem less fun... because well... drinking is fun. It's why bars can charge 16 bucks for an ounce or two of liquor and some mixer.... does that feeling ever go away for you?
Basically I don't trust myself around alcohol anymore. The option of one day getting to where I can enjoy it in moderation again is the one that appeals to me most, but I'm afraid it's a fools errand and I want to be able to replace it and not miss it.
It's taken about 6-8 months to get to where I enjoy not drinking as much or more than drinking. However, for me it's less because things have become more enjoyable sober and more that drinking has become much less appealing overall.
Although I've gone the route of TSM and pharmacological extinction instead of AA and complete abstinence. For me nothing will ever compare to the euphoria of being drunk, and so I've been using naltrexone to remove the dopamine and euphoria that I get when I drink . So that now when I think about drinking I no longer associate it with the rush of dopamine that I used to get, but instead the lack of euphoria and all of the negative consequences that I'm left with. Also my mind has become less accustomed to the massive surges of dopamine from drinking, so that I'm able to enjoy the more moderate amount of dopamine that comes from everyday life.
You have to change one thing and that's (Everything)? It's going to get better with time? I got a Vivitrol shot and it helps with cravings for 30 days?
The word fun is relative. Some people think u can’t have fun if ur not drunk . I actually have more fun now bc I can feel my true feelings . I laugh from the gut now. I’m able to make Better choices now when I’m out . So to me that’s fun. There’s really no time-line tho. It happens when u know there’s no going back and it’s ok.
I get it. A year ago and for many many years prior I thought I couldn’t live without booze. How do you have fun without it? How do I do anything without it? Then one day something told me I needed to go to detox. I was actually sick and tired of being sick and tired lol. I didn’t fight it and I wasn’t afraid. I’m now six and a half months sober and loving it. I have fun all the time because I’m more present and see things clearly. It hasn’t been easy but you have to want it.
My brother, you don’t have fun. What is fun, though? What is happiness? Societal constructs absent of moral objectivity. I lost all my “friends” when I stopped drinking. I moved back in with my parents because I used to live in a city right next to dozens of bars and a liquor store. I haven’t gotten laid in years. Im miserable and lonely a lot. What else am I? Sober.
I also have more money in the bank than I ever have in my life. I also am in the best shape of my life. I also cook amazing meals and share quality time with my parents.
Fun is a stupid litmus with which to measure the success of your life.