New to this app 2 days sober. Ive thought about quitting drinking for a while now. But then I think am I rly an alcoholic? I don't crave alcohol. I don't have a bad day and need a drink. Instead I drink on my weekend but once I start I don't stop until I've blacked out and wake up the next morning trying to piece together the previous day. Knowing I hurt my loved ones knowing I've hurt myself feeling hopelessly full of shame. I'm tired of self destructing. So yes I am an alcoholic 
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Well you have made the first step by admitting to yourself that you have a problem. For me I realized I didn't drink like a normal person. Once I started I couldn't stop. I lived that life for 35 years. Now 9 months sober and wow what a life now thanks to God's Grace. If you want that feeling of hopelessness and shame out of your life you are on the right path. Find a meeting in your area and go to as many as you can. I was a daily drinker so I really needed the support. You will find others that will help in your journey and your life will get better day by day. Be proud of yourself, it's an amazing transformation you've begun. Congrats.
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That cycle you described, starting and not being able to stop, the shame after, that might be an indicator. I can tell you want recovery. Keep showing up, you’re worth it.
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I started out in that exact same pattern. I would reward myself by drinking all weekend thinking "I worked a long hard week I deserve this" Eventually it started creeping into weeknights then mornings. Then drinking at work hiding vodka in a water bottle. I think its excellent you're recognizing the problem now and also in the right place to seek qualified support. You can check with your PCP for a referral to a local substance abuse counselor, go to AA or Smart Recovery and get a good sponsor and work the steps. Many medications are also available to curb cravings or stop the receptors in the brain from receiving pleasure from the alcohol
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Welcome to this platform. You have taken the first important step.
Welcome congrats this s new beginning for.u.u can do it
You may be an alcoholic but you don’t have to claim that moving forward. We aren’t defined by our past. You are a new person. Just take it a day at a time and don’t give into peer pressure. You’re about to find out even more now how much society seems to revolve around alcohol.
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Hi Jesyka,
I’m Blake. Welcome. Congratulations on being honest with yourself because it’s the most important thing if we are to become healthy and whole.
Welcome Jesyka! I often had that conversation with myself. I never craved alcohol even when I was deep in my addiction, but I did start drinking out of depression. I had gone through some tramua and even after that felt I was fine until suddenly I wasn’t and I didn’t know how to cope. I always had a healthy relationship with alcohol until that point so I convinced myself I wasn’t one. It took me realizing that it was the fact that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Addiction looks different on everybody, but once it takes a hold of you it slowly destroys your life and that’s the last thing you want to do. I’m glad you decided to better yourself and that you’re here with us.
Courage and strength 
god bless you and yes it does take one to know one, also which is why there is this program to help another alcoholic out right, we are all the same and we are all struggling. But yes it does take one day at a time. I hope you enjoy this app so far I've been reading and listening to some good stories, thank you for sharing yours, to another 24
First step I believe is the hardest and placing action to the words! Accomplished, small win keep collecting those small wins. Tomorrow will be three days on and on etc, there is support. Happy for your new journey.