New to this app & 4 days sober. It’s been years since I attempted sobriety again. I’m anxious scared & feeling very alone, I pushed a lot of people away, hurt a lot of feelings, and hurt myself. I know one day at a time but my heart just aches for what I’ve put myself through for years
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Congratulations on four days. We can’t live in our past. I was at meeting this week and the topic was sober /death date. One take on the topic was our sober date is the death of our old selves and way of thinking. I strongly encourage you to find some meetings. You will no longer be alone. There are people who will want to help you. There is strength in numbers. Good luck and stay strong .
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Thank you for your kind words this really resonated with me, looking for meetings in my area to attend luckily there’s a lot to choose from!
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Welcome Lily! I hope you find a lot of positivity and support on here, it can really help! 
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Welcome Lily!!!
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Congratulations 4 days is a great start and the best thing you can do for all the people you have hurt is get yourself well again. Trust me I get it. Not saying you don’t need to take accountability but you can do that all in time. Keep it going!
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That’s a lot of clean time keep up the great work
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Tabula Rasa we all deserve one a chance to start fresh. Attempt and it is easier stated then done in practice that the things you did were characteristics of your personality but behaviors that can be changed. Behavior can be remodeled and relearned and reshaped. It is to identify stuff as us or as our compulsions. Yet these things are actions taken not the core of who we are deep down. We all can grow no matter how many times we feel like we stumble we may be stumbling towards something great. Take my words as just opinion and apply them to your situation and if they don't apply that is cool too.
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Thank you I found this very helpful !!!
Most welcome and safe travels.
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Congrats Baby Girl