New to this group. Getting sober again after a relapse. Was 19 years before that but I didn't lose my recovery. It took it's toll however and I'm not exactly bouncing back from it. I'm not the same.
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I did the same thing after 17 years. I’ve been back for 5 years now. For me this time has been more amazing then the first . Maybe because I am so grateful to have made it back.
In a way I think the relapse was inevitable and meant to be. I'm a lot more focused on my recovery and I only want to be around sober people. I have no more reservations about whether I can drink safely. I was sitting on the fence for a long time and not doing all of the work. I almost have no choice now but to change.
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I just realized I already posted this a while ago. Lol. Shows where my brain is at.
Lol repetition helps us grind stuff into our brain
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We’re here for you Matt. It sounds like you have a good understanding of what you’re feeling though so I’d say that’s really good. And you’re here, also a big deal. Explore AA, SMART Recovery or a number of other options and see what resinates with you. Explore what you’ve learned. You got this, man, and now you have more knowledge. 
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