New to this…

I didn’t realize how many friends I didn’t have when I decided to stop drinking. Everything revolves around alcohol and going out. Looking to meet new people.

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Yea it’s bullshit

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Yup!! My friends are happy that I'm sober yet all they do is drink and it's still a trigger for me so early in sobriety so that leaves me out. I've been in AA but even that hasn't been easy to just find friends. Just because we're all sober doesn't mean we click as friends, ya know? Eh

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Same!!! Where do you live? I’m in NC.

I love how all my “bar friends” disappeared when i stopped. Now they are always “busy”

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Welcome to loosid. Yup, had same experience.

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Check out AA. That’s where I’ve met all my friends. Easily the best relationships I’ve ever had.

Search the App Store for meeting finder and look for a young people’s AA (YPAA) meeting.

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Yeah, I think we all figure out that we don’t have much in common with our “friends” when we stop drinking to improve our lives.
I found new friends in recovery.

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Welcome Carlee

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When my life revolved around drinking, all my friends were drinkers. So in my mind that meant that everyone drinks.

Fortunately I have found this not to be the case. I have lots of friends from sobriety but I have also just lived my life and met some amazing people who just don’t drink.

It takes time but what worked for me was immersing myself into activities that I enjoyed and meeting people with similar interests.

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Welcome Carlee… the world definitely revolves around alcohol…. It ain’t easy but we know it’s best for us

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We all stop drinking eventually. Some of us are still alive.

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Same. Now all my friends are into working out...but I need more...and you're far away (I'm in PA near Philly) but we can be virtual friends. Welcome!

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It definitely filters out friends whose sole entertainment is getting drunk. But! There is probably something you enjoy doing that other people enjoy too, and that’s a big key to making new friends (book club, gamer nights, weightlifting group, etc)
Another key is just to be in the same place repeatedly- work, the gym, the library, a lake/hiking trail every Friday. Doesn’t matter all that much, seeing someone repeatedly encourages friendships. (And also, there are a lot more sober people out there than you’d think!) Good luck on new friendships! :relaxed:

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Most common problem we all seem to face after leaving alcohol. My friend circles were decimated due to the majority of them revolving around "drinking" culture. We all pretty much need to learn how to do sober activities and meet new friends without our "social lubricant" crutch. As most things do in sobriety, it takes time. In the meantime , AA or SMART meetings help. Then I've found good sober folks in classes you can take at your local gym or YMCA.. like kickboxing or yoga....whatevs. The focus is usually on health in these environments. AND focus on friends and family that don't drink. I didn't have many , but hopefully you have a few more.
Good luck.

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Welcome Carlee

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I know what you mean. I thought I had all these friends also. Now, that I'm sober nobody even calls to see how I'm doing. I'm staying at my daughter's and all I do is go to work and go back to her house. I feel really isolated.

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Relate deeply

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When I sobered up not only did my so called friends disappear but so did my loving supportive wife. Haha don't need them.

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Thanks everyone! This makes me feel better hearing everyone else’s experiences.

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