No matter how many rehabs i go to, no matter how many meeting no matter how many books i read im stuck girever. I even had a woman that wouldnt leave bjt i managed to make her leave i am so worthless. Alcohol wins just let me die already because life isnt worthnliving when alcohol wins. Im out theres nothing left for me alone sick and hating myself this is the end of every bender and im done it wins i lose i cant fight it and its just time to leave this cruel horrible world. Theres nompoint in being here life is a disaster and i just want out.
I would get to a meeting and talk to someone as soon as you can, and definitely believe that Jesus is our Savior 
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help is available. rarely have we seen a person fail...
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