My mother is legitimately a psychopath and / or a sociopath with cluster-b issues (narcissistic personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, etc.)and she has HATED me since I was little; it got worse when I started my menstrual cycle. I got huge boobs and was WAY prettier and smarter than she was. I've been in therapy since my menstrual cycle began. I think I was just an 11 year old normal tween with PMS. I started smoking pot, drinking, and smoking cigarettes when I was 14. When I turned 12, I got a little sister. Mother, of course, had post pardem depression (she was institutionalized at 16 for cutting), so I had to help a lot with raising my sister. Both of my parents are drug addicts and alcoholics. I remember every single sick disgusting thing that happened. I was molested by my great grandfather and by a female child about 8 years old. No one believes me. Shocker. I am the scapegoat of the family. I've had many death threats and threats to have me "put away" recently, and I am extremely uncomfortable. I pleaded with my father to make my mother and Nana stop abusing me, but then he started abusing me too! Psychological abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse (by mother), I'm on disability and they threatened to have me put out on my a$$. So yeah, I'm in the midst of a relapse right now. Bot using my drug of choice, but still using nonetheless.
Oh sweetie that's such a horrible hand to have been dealt but I'll encourage you to distance yourself from her and allow yourself to heal bec this is NOT normal. When I finally got therapy in my 50's for child molestation it freed me from a horrible secret that had weighed me down my entire life
Check out “homecoming” by John Bradshaw for some inner child work. I’m sorry all of this happened to you. I had similar done too me so I feel some of your pain
Sorry but you shouldn’t abuse yourself any further. You deserve much better!
Relapsing only weakens you and makes your enemies stronger.
Wake up and bail out of the pity party. Rise above your past story. You’re a beautiful child of God🙏
IF WE CAN RECOVER FROM OUR FAMILY WE CAN RECOVER FROM ANYTHING. The reality is that they want to see you as you were. Not as you can be
Thanks Teresa!
Thanks Jon!
Thanks Danny W.!
Thanks Joseph Stoddard!
A family that is toxic always wants to see you fail or not be better than them. If they see that, they'll do anything to make you fall to square one. I know this because my mother was like that before I started transitioning MTF. Keep doing what you're doing. Eyes on the prize to make yourself better than your family. YOU CAN BE BETTER AND YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. JUST. LIKE. ME!
wow quite the horriffic story, i was hooked on heroin for years so i feel you. Use those horrible experiences to become something greater then your bad experiences, you seem to want to be the better person.
Tha k you Athena!!! 
Thank you so much, Billy!
I’m so sorry 
You have had a hard life to far. I’m sorry.
You can turn it around and be happy again. Hugs
Thanks Dan!!