Not a cry for help…

Struggling Help
#1

Just an admission of guilt. I am NOT doing well on my sobriety journey. And I’m not trying to blame it on anyone else. I made the choice to drink this weekend - me alone.

A big part of what drives me to drink is the overwhelming stress in my life. I support my entire family by myself and the burden makes me feel like I’m drowning. I have a partner who isn’t sharing equal weight, and is downright emotionally abusive sometimes. For moral (and other) reasons, I can’t just up and leave. I know my task is to find a way to achieve sobriety in the face of ANY adversity. Just feeling so weak and powerless and worthless right now.

I wish I could squeeze out a hug from someone who truly understands where I am, because I truly feel like I have no one to confide in about this.

Except you - thanks for reading, kind stranger.

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#2

Find a strong group that you can talk to … not a club but usually the good old church basement. That’s what helped me when I felt the same way!

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#3

I live in a really rural area so it might take a little drive, but I’m definitely going to look up my closest meeting place. Thanks Carolyn :heart:

#4

Coming on here and seeking support is a great step. Good for you. I can relate to the burden of carrying your family on your own. I too am in a similar situation and sometimes I feel like I am drowning too. I walked into my first AA meeting almost 6 months ago and have learned that while I still have all these challenges in my life it is way more manageable doing it sober. And by manageable I mean those feelings of being weak, powerless and worthless. That is what alcohol gives us. Don’t be too hard on yourself as many of us have been there. Getting sober and staying sober can be tough. Keep trying and ask for help. When I finally asked for help the help came. Seek support in whatever ways feel right for you. You can do it! Hugs

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#5

I agree with Carolyn and Melissa. That support will really help you in your journey. Hugs girl, you got this🩵

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#6

When I was at that point I discovered AA meetings. It really helped. I'm not a 12 stepper at all but the community was great and it got me away from everything. I learned to focus on myself sometimes and that grew into many new things.
We are here for you online too, don't forget that.

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#7

Sending all the hugs!

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#8

I wish that I could give you that hug, Shay…rooting for you!

Your post resonates with me.
I do not have a partner / so that part…I cannot relate with…while I can with that feeling of drowning.

So glad that you posted.
There is support…and I feel as if you are on your way to-towards finding it, Shay!

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#9

I’m over here sobbing because I feel this so much. I’m hugging you virtually so hard right now cause I, too, need the hug.

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#10

hugs Alicia, my dear friend. We got this, girl…even if we take it just one minute at a time. 🩷

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#11

Thank you all soooo much for the encouragement. I didn’t drink this evening - poured it out. We can do this!

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#12

Hey Shay, here's a virtual hug :hugs:. I hope you feel better soon and that things change for your betterment.

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#13

:hugs: here's a hug for you. Stay strong, you matter.

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#14

Absolutely. We're all in this together!

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#16

Hi Shay, This is my experience. It seems that I share a lot of your beliefs when it comes to marriage/partnership. I got sober for the sole purpose of saving my marriage. In most aspects it appeared to be a good marriage. I was a mental wreck for about a year after getting sober. She left right after I made a year. I was devastated, there was nothing I could do. A friend told me the fear is a liar and I don’t have to believe it. A switch flipped and it started becoming a new person. I saw a quote ‘thank you for leaving, I never could have walked away’. That is place I am in. I am at peace with it, and better in all aspects of my life than I have been in decades. Again, this is just my experience and not a suggestion or advice. Stay strong and I am sending a HUG.

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#17

I’m so sorry. Hope you find some peace and help. You are a strong woman. You can do this!!

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#18

❤️‍🩹. Glad you reached out. Please don’t beat yourself up. Sobriety is not a race but a long sometimes painful journey.

Do you have a recovery team? A sponsor? Do you do meetings? Are you physically addicted? These are questions with pretty easy answers. When I was in my heavy daily drinking, it was so bad that I had to be medically detoxed and put on medication right away for withdrawals and possible seizures. Upon leaving the hospital I was given a craving medication and they set me up with an entire recovery team. Just celebrated 3 yrs and 3 months. But believe I have struggled between my family and just feeling like an overall loser. I still beat myself up but, so happy that I am out of that h@lI was in. Just taking time for my family to accept what I am doing for myself daily. But to drink for me is to die. Just start over but please get yourself people you can count on. :pray:

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#19

Pray without cease. This too shall pass.

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#20

AA intergroup has online zoom meetings a ton every half hour. I been sober 3 years now and never been to an in person meeting.