Not having my kids
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Hi Caitlin. You are working on you right now. You are on a journey of becoming the best version of yourself. It’s necessary to move forward with grace and patience. Your children need the best parts of you. Be kind to your past, and be kind to yourself.
Hugs! 
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Hi Caitlen, you definitely are not alone in this and I was where you were a year ago, I had nothing not even my kids.
Today I may not be where I want to be but I'm not where I was.
Today I have my kids back, today not only am I a mother I am a present mother.
And if I can do it so can you.
Make sure you breathe, always talk with your higher power first.
And always always one day at a time we can only do what we can do for the day.your doing an amazing job
My whole identity revolved around my kids and being a mother. Staying sober was easy for them. They were that family I was rejected by, abused and hated. I honestly don't understand what happened. There all grown now, they all walked away like id never been there, replaced me. I've tried everything. Been homeless for years now, when I finally got a place, that entire year not as much as a text message. I started wanting to end it, sober now hurts so much. I'm afraid to even try. I have nothing to look forward to, just sitting there hoping for a message or call that never comes, I miss my name.