Problem of my life. Avoidant catastophiser like many addicts. Often my using cycles centred around this. Avoiding conflict only creates inner conflict. I really latched onto the simplicity of “keep your side of the street clean”. Now I MUST do so. If I need to apologize or right a wrong- I address it early on - after taking space. Imparative for me to get sapce during it as a form of selfcare. Im in first 6m of recovery and my anger and past beliefs are still down that hole waiting to errupt. Need to feel the emotions then validate or invalidate when calm. I never could take that space before. I would run to numb it and file that incident folder on the giant pile then close drawer. No wonder my life was a hurricane. No more running i deserve better and so do all those around me who love me. 
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