Not sure about anything right now:/
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One of them days?
You don’t have to be sure of anything …. Just take it minute by minute!
Do you want to talk? I was a high bottom drunk 2019 and ended up a homeless suicide survivor by accident this past December. My low was pretty bad. We might have shared some hardships
I get it girl. Sometimes when I feel this way I just remind myself that no matter what, it will get better. Try to not place too much pressure on yourself
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It’s ok. You’re thoughts are moving in the right direction. That’s all you need right this moment. It starts in your thoughts.
Pause-lean into discomfort, it means you are changing. Be calm in these moments and embrace. We are always here
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Have you ever heard of SMART Recovery? I learned their method at a veteran's rehab. It's a method that focuses more on the psychology of the addict and tends to work well with us repeat offenders. Check em out. There is an app to help you locate and also online meetings. You must do the homework however otherwise you won't get the psychology lessons.
And yes a sponsor and accountability partners are a necessity. Just as Christopher pointed out.
You only need to focus on one thing. Not drinking. It makes everything worse and the wisest unsure! Be well. Contact someone if you need to talk.
Just know that you are doing the right thing. Getting sober is not easy and emotions are crazy. I hope you have a recovery team that will help. I know when I got sober I read and watched everything I could find. Not worth dying over.
TRUST the process of RECOVERY. Things aren't going to change in 90 days. Be a LONGTERM THINKER. You can make it
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Whenever I feel like that I know that it will pass I just need to make it until it does. What helps is trying to change the channel (mentally). I usually call people, despite my mind telling me that they are busy. I also pray for guidance and clarity a simple prayer that helps me is “Higher power, if there is anything blocking me from your spirit please help me remove it now.” If praying isn’t your thing (I get it), I go for a bike ride or workout, read something on recovery or not on recovery. I think the most important thing for me is to remind myself that what I’m thinking is not an accurate portrayal of what is really going to happen. Most of mine is fear based and irrational, I’m usually tripping on the future or something I can’t control. Tell someone else what is going on, and as you are talking about it, you are getting it out. You will get through it 
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There will be good and not-so-great days in sobriety or trying anyway. I’m not sure of anything either; one month and 3 wks sober after a 9 mo. relapse..I had 13 yrs. One day out of the blue I bought alcohol. Ugghhh. Yes, I put myself thru that..
Thank you 