Not sure how to even make that change.
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Reaching out is a good start
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The beginning is not easy, but saying you want to make that change is a good start. I’d suggest looking for an AA meeting in your area and keep trying ones until you find the right group. Fellowship makes such a difference. And that hour you are there, you are with people who are in the same boat as you, accept you unconditionally. And that hour you aren’t drinking!
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Just take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second if you have to. Set small goals at first and build on that, and Lisa is right I also suggest finding a meeting and reaching out to a sober community (which you are already doing).
Hi Vanessa, glad you're here. I started with a Pros and Cons list. Soon I realized that substance abuse was never a help, but the biggest hurt in my life. Make a Change and Believe that It will benefit your entire life. When I stopped feeding the demons inside me, they stopped running my life. You Can do This!
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Thank you everyone for the Wednesday motivation, I desperately want to change, I lost two family members about 3 years ago back to back and I feel like in a way I make excuses for why I start drinking again or smoking (not cigarettes) but I don’t want that for my life anymore I just don’t know how to let go of the pain and it’s so scary reaching out, or to ask for suggestions and support because I don’t want to seem like a failure, I really appreciate everyone and all the tips thank you
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You have to put yourself out there, become comfortable being uncomfortable!
Sometimes it’s a minute at a time and that’s okay, because it’s a minute more than you had before! Be proud of every single minute!!
We only fail if we don't try! I thank everyday I didn't give up on trying. Took me almost 40 yrs to finally start going to meetings consistently, and many things just started falling into place for me...I was a slow learner, but found out this program actually works. You can do this too Vanessa. Congrats on reaching out!
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I am grateful my sister told me about making ninety meetings in ninety days because it helped me a great deal to get onboard with a lot of intensive rapid familiarity with the program and the big book etc and in a few months I am sure my retention was far better than only a couple of meetings a week would be!
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You are courageous and smart to ask. I found a recovery center that took my insurance with good reviews. They took some special cases, probono also. The one I went to had activities, beach day, 2 chefs, movie time at 8pm. Sent in the right direction. I know I wouldn't be here now otherwise.
No need to seem or feel like a failure. AA has helped me out a lot. Try to download meeting guide, it’s a blue app with a white chair. You can find good meetings in your area.
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Joining this app was a good start! There’s plenty of good advice and support here!
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One day at a time. Tell yourself I am not going to drink for today. Then get up and do it again. Get involved in meetings! Saved my life.
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What’s hard for me is smoking I tell myself okay today I won’t of if I have a small about left I’ll say okay that’s all after this I won’t buy but then hours later I find myself getting more so I can smoke again when it comes to drinking, i take medicine so I know I’m not aloud to drink on it so I don’t but when I do want a beer which is me relapsing I won’t take my medication I just need help I’m tired of whatever cycle I’m doing Im just scared.
Maybe ask, “In what ways is my use of this substance negatively affecting myself and others?”and jot down some things.
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Then jot down some things you can do to start. Brainstorm. We’ll help.
Hey Vanessa,step one, admitting you have a problem is going to help find your solution? Today is actually the anniversary of the day I lost my younger brother and 3 years later I lost my older brother? Both tragically, and there's nothing anyone can do or say to make you feel better? I drank and did a lot of drugs to kill the pain. It just makes things worse and it wasn't until I got sober that I was able to deal with their loss? I hope you know that you are not alone? I hope you find peace and if no one told you today, you are worth it 
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Simple don’t drink we all started in the same place and had the same fears ! But the start is believing you can stop drinking! Then stop GO TO AA EVERY DAY TWICE A DAY for 90 days
By the grace of god I’m 60 days sober and I was a drunk started every day as soon as my eyes opened vodka in the coffee and keep going
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Change the cycle... change the actions... go for a walk instead... then each action each moment Builds on the other that's the only way to describe it in the beginning when it's really hard