I’ve lived with an alcoholic but it is different being here. I know many of the ways to talk to myself and be ‘ok’ but I’m not. I’ve lived in the shadow of everyone. Even as I struggle I’m such a type that most people see me as ok. I have to learn how to tell people I’m not ok. I’m a single women that is trying to figure out life. I have a good grasp but …
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I still have trouble asking for help, it’s a pride and ego thing. I also fear of looking weak. It’s takes practice. I don’t have all the answers but I try to ask for help more often than I did, who was never. Good luck
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Go to a women's AA meeting. You won't need to ask for help. They already know you need help when you walk through the door. The women in AA take care of eachother.
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Hopefully this app will allow you to meet some folks you feel safe opening up to. You’re stronger than you know, Molly
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Ooph I felt that. So good at being pleasant it’s almost a compulsion to convince everyone I’m ‘ok’. Maybe having to take care of yourself for so long it feels foreign to be taken care of let alone ask for it. Love how you phrased “lived in the shadow of everyone”. Poetic in the most relatable way. You can message me if you ever want to chat (:
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I’ve worn so many masks in the past that it seems like I don’t know which ones to remove. Or like one of them is now the real me if that makes any sense. But I finally got so beat down that I had to swallow that pride and genuinely ask for help. I’ve never felt so exposed and vulnerable in my entire life and it was extremely uncomfortable. But it’s been so worth it. I’ve struggled with this thing for years now. But I was never able to take any actions that made me even the slightest bit uncomfortable and it almost killed me several times. This time honestly feels different. Being able to step out of my comfort zone and embrace how truly helpless I feel and honestly down right scared instead of masking it has allowed me to actually grow as a person. This year has been one of the hardest, and yet best years of my life and I don’t want to give that up so I’m gonna move forward with everything I have because I’ve discovered that with a little bit of humility, there’s a whole life to be had that I never thought was possible for someone like me. And I really hope the same happens for you!
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You are reaching out for help so you are already getting better at saying you "aren't ok". I'm a people pleaser too. Our type really has to work toward shifting our focus back to ourselves instead of trying to help/fix other people 🤦. Our sobriety is our foundation. I see it as the foundation of self and really life itself. Life is order in a chaotic universe as sobriety is structure in a chaotic mind. Make sobriety your rock and build yourself from there; to heel with all the distractions. Good luck
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Stand up for yourself 
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Word to the wise: People who ask for help, make it. And the ones that don't, don't.
Whether you're on this app or In the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, It's a WE program.
If you're here for recovery, We don't get this way overnight and we don't get better overnight. I've heard it said that it's 10 miles Into the woods and 10 miles back out.
Alcohol was but a symptom of our problem. We have to get down to causes and conditions. We do this by getting a sponsor to take us through the 12 steps of AA.
When we do this, the promises of AA start to come true for us.
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Very well said. People kept telling me to give it time. I wanted to time travel a couple of years forward so I didn’t have to go through the pain of growing. Yeah, it hurt getting here but I love myself again.
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