Nothing sounds entertaining... I used to love hula hooping.. that doesn't sound fun anymore... Never have an appetite so I barely eat.. all I do is work and go home.. on my days off I sit and force myself to put my roller skates on.. that lasts about 30 minutes and then I get bored .. life has become stale with sobriety for me... It was a nightmare without it.. but, I'd laugh when I was partying and put with friends... Def wasn't worth the feeling of regret the next morning... But, ppl in recovery as well tell me to find a hobby .. I have hobbies they just don't interest me anymore... I just want to sleep in my free time... I know there's a whole big world out there just ready to be explored but, I have no drive or motivation to do so. I will say... Whenever I force myself to do something..even the smallest thing..like goto the grocery store... I feel accomplished afterwards.. I know it has to have something to do with all the alcohol draining my serotonin and dopamine.... Does anyone take 5htp to help with that ? Replenish.. ?
Alexandria it sounds to me like youre definitely depressed, what youre describing sounds like the the symptoms. I suffer with major depression so I can empathize. This is what i can suggest: idk if u take any kind of medication, however im a big believer in natural remedies so to help me and without it i fall into depression is tumeric. I take a 1000mg every morning with a healthy breakfast and my other vitamins. The other thing i would strongly suggest is seeing a therapist to help guide you more on how to handle the stress and anything that you may need to vent. Does this sound like a new option for you? Just a quick note, bc tumeric is natural, its not going to to start taking effect immediately, maybe a week or two but you will c the difference if ur patient.
And the other important thing what a sponsor, meetings and step work? Have you been doing any of those?
Thank you. Yes I know I'm depressed... Partly bc of my addiction and partly bc of the freshness of my break up with my ex 
I never knew what a trauma bond is until recently and I will look into therapy .. I've went to a couple meetings and enjoyed them.. these days tho it's hard to force myself to even get up to go pee.. I just want to stay in bed... It's such a horrible feeling. I miss being sober and happy 
before my ex and before i drank I was always chipper and in a good mood... Laughing...I am trying to get back to that person or at least re invent her...
I do understand the difficulty in trying to get out of bed and just to go pee, if someone could only do it for you. But try and not overwhelm yourself with too many things for the day. Just make a little plan everyday and try to accomplish it. For eg, youre going to get out of bed and have a sandwich and make your bed. As you achieve a little more everyday and c ur achievement s it might make u feel stronger to do a little more, if u dont get the everything done the way u planned, try again tomorrow, the last thing u want is to feel overwhelmed and YES, get that therapist as asap!
Thanks girl. I'm ready to start feeling alive again. I was a lot better before I relapsed a couple days ago.. that didn't help my mental health. Quite the opposite obviously. It's crazy bc I could have told myself that... Probably would have still done it anyways tho. We live and we learn right ?
Thanks for listening
Yes and then we learn to live right? Lol. I hope and pray you continue to feel alive. Ill keep you in my prayers this morning. Be blessed, trust God, know nothing is by mistake but everything is for reason and everything will come to light as you take each step at a time. Remember! Youre never a failure, unless you stop trying, so keep ur head, be proud that youre not giving up!
Been there! It’s worth fighting through.