Now that I'm sober I hate my body size. im healthier, yes, but my addict brain tells me if I don't look as skinny as I was in my addiction then Im overweight. lol. Can anyone relate?
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I went from being 160 (not in good shape) to 125 (quit eating/tried drinking myself to death) to 145 (obsessively working out/still drinking too much) to 155 (when I went to rehab) all in about an 18 month span. Now, with sobriety, proper diet and good exercise I’m a little under 140. Scary to think I weighed so little not long ago. I still don’t know what weight I feel “right” at, so I understand the struggle.
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I lost 20 lbs in the first month I quit drinking, now I am getting fluffy because of all the dang ice cream I eat…lol. But I love me because I can wake up and remember the night before, I can be present for my kids activities, I can look at the man in the mirror and not fume with hateful thoughts, body dis morphia is just another form of addiction. Sounds like your Brian is fighting back against you, and trying to trick you back to what it craves. Stay strong my man. Work the program and it will get better.
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