OK, I need help. The people hide harmed. I didn’t as far as I can remember my dad was an alcoholic and he would tell me that I was a cockroach and I didn’t matter. I was a mistake every day and when I was real young, as soon as I could walk, I would run out into the garage and sit and cry until he went to work at 3 o’clock in the morning because I couldn’t stand it yelling and screaming with my mom all night sit out in the garage until he passed out and when I became a teenager, I was able to fight back and I was able to stay in the house as much as I could and I would drink his stash of liquor and I would get in even more trouble with him and we would end up getting in fist fights and then the last 10 years of his life, he got sober through alcoholics anonymous and now that I am sober I don’t remember ever giving me an amends or talking to me about it and last night at a meeting. Someone said that they treated their son that way, and it ripped their soul out and that just struck a cord with me and I cried and I shared what happened to me and did tear my soul out when I was younger. I’m 62 now and that stuff comes up when somebody says something like that and I get very emotional about it. I need help with this, I’m calling my sponsor later today. I told him about it briefly before I try not to talk to anybody about this, but I’m coming out and I need help. It keeps popping up in my life and it tears me up inside still.
It takes a lot of strength and courage to face these feelings. I’m 59. I know what it’s like to run and escape from myself. I also got to the point where I couldn’t outrun it anymore. It’s now or never my brother. I lean on my sponsor, the steps, the fellowship of AA, and my therapist to help me today. We don’t have to suffer alone anymore. Pray for the willingness, strength, and courage
I got it 2 to 3 meetings a day and I talk to my sponsor every day but these feelings just keep coming up and it seems like there’s no stopping. I wish I could just forget that all that happened.
I get that. The only way to move forward is to go thru not around. Keep pushing with the help you are receiving. Eventually the intensity of these feelings fade. They go from volume 10 down to 7, and then 5, and slowly the process of healing makes them much more manageable. I have had some things pop up just recently, and it was uncomfortable but not too bad. Keep for by the right things and trust the process. We will never forget, but we can learn to live in peace with our past
Hang in there, brother. Keep getting to lots of meetings and working the steps.
I would also suggest seeking outside help. A counselor or therapist. In addition to that you might try ALANON. Alcoholism is a family disease and.ALANON can help us understand the effects of the family disease.
Yes, you’re right. It’s really helped. I have this need to reach out for help and I think that’s just because of the quality of my sobriety not the quantity of my sobriety, thank God and the people in it.