Ok so here’s a dilemma. I’m very new to recovery, and I started dating a guy I met online, he takes me out for dinners and he orders alcohol (wine in my case) I broke my one week sober streak because I don’t want to push him away by telling him I have an issue of the bat….
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You are probably going to want to get over that if you are convinced that you have a problem.
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I know it's easier to say this, but you shouldn't worry about pushing them away because of your sobriety. If he can't be with someone who's sober then it's not for you. Don't you want a partner who's supportive of your decision if you're serious about being sober and know you have a problem with alcohol? If you know you have a problem what's going to happen once you start getting serious and you've been drinking the whole time to appear 'normal'? Your issues arent going to stay hidden like you're trying to do.
The only dilemma here is are you serious about your sobriety or not? If you're willing to drink just to keep some appearance of being 'normal' and not having any issues then I'm not sure you're ready to date even. Focus on your sobriety. Back to day one. You'll find someone who will accept you for everything, being sober and all.
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Thank you for your advice, it made me feel better. Back to day one. God bless you
Be straight up with him and If he doesn’t wanna be there to see you happy and sober then you’ll get someone that will understand your situation and support you all way
Hi Anastassia, in my few years of sober dating I have learned that it is important to be up front about your sobriety with the person. The reality is that not everyone wants to date someone who is sober, and that’s okay. You will find someone who supports and respects your sobriety.
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Don’t let anything get in the way of your sobriety. Guys will come and guys will go. You are stuck with yourself forever.
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Too soon.
I am always up front about my sobriety when meeting new people. It is the most important thing in my life!
I've dated in sobriety and I have found that letting the lady know I don't drink and not make a big about it, it works out fine in the initial beginning I don't feel you need to have a full discussion on your issues with alcohol and your in recovery. That will come to light and discussed with healthy people sooner than later. If he gets to know you as the person you are right now and where your at he most definitely is going to be more receptive to your recovery and won't be a big deal and he will want to continue the relationship less anxiety on your recovery in the beginning you don't have to be a "recovery monger" to be successful
If you’re an alcoholic like me, your focus will be on establishing your program of recovery, working with a sponsor who has achieved the sobriety that you want and is willing to lead you, and understanding/fixing the wreckage of your past before you’re ready for any new relationships.
Today is for not drinking and going to a meeting. There are some women in this app who have great recovery going on. Jenn who commented previously is one of them. Those are the people that can help you these days. Guys will always be around. It’s true what Wedad said. When the right guy comes along you won’t need to worry about changing yourself for him.
Ahhhh, there’s a reason they say don’t date for a year when first sober. You just explained that reason. You need to work on yourself in the beginning and relationships only interfere. Lay that foundation first. You’re young. Got a whole lifetime of dating ahead, soberly.
A big part of my drinking was the dating scene. When I got sober I tried to keep dating but found it too hard. I took a little over a year off from dating which helped to lay a solid foundation of sobriety before dating again. Honestly it was really freeing taking romance out of my interactions with women for that long. When I started back up I was always honest and up front.