Ok so I’m new here. Honestly I’m looking for some support. I’m currently on house arrest I’m coming up on my 6 months clean. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified to get off house arrest in 4 months! Because I’m beyond scared. I’m a very strong willed/minded women but the fear n that want is still there! N it’s scares me😢 any words of encouragement would be much appreciated. I lost my sister to an OD in January n I can’t believe that even after that that want is still there. That’s scares me so much!
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Welcome, Ciara! 6 months is such a huge accomplishment, that’s a lot to be proud of.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I can’t even imagine the kind of pain you’re in. Especially because sober pain is a different level.
unfortunately, addiction doesn’t care about any of that. It just wants to get us to use again. This group has been so helpful in my journey, and I hope you find comfort and solace here as well! Please feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
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That want is normal, don't think that it isn't. That is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. Especially early in recovery. I had 5 years and that want came and went often. To be honest, I did 3 years in prison and I felt the same way, terrified of the freedom etc...you can do it, anyone can. You just have to follow simple suggestions from people that have done it and continue to do it themselves and be H.onest, O.pen and W.illing...the HOW it works. The cliché lines like "one day at a time" and "easy does it" really do work too. And one more thing that helps me is grounding techniques like the 5 senses method. When I'm craving or tempted, example- 5 things I see, 4 things I smell, 3 things I hear, 2 things I touch and 1 thing I taste. By the time I'm done it usually passes.
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Thank you so much! A part of me feels like it’s only cuz I’m on house arrest that I’m still clean but there is always ways around the system! But yes the grief that is overwhelming at times it hits u so different sober! But I know I’m sober because I want to be it’s just a huge fear that I’m going to mess up once I don’t have that constant eye on me.
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Welcome I did 18 months of house arrest. Didn’t know it at the time but I learned how to eat 3 meals a day get up and go to work starting point for life skills
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What routines and rituals of structure that keep you clear headed in thought and that reduce anxiety that can be transfered into life after house arrest? Even though I don't know you, I am saddened to hear of your loss. what other behaviors do you do that are honest and positive and resonate a healthy life style?
I used to be a teacher before I fell into the drug life the past three years. My kids were used to structure, consistency, and mommy around all the time. I’m getting myself back daily. I work everyday. I keep the schedule daily. I’m into music singing n beats so I do that for an escape. But I still see how distant I keep myself from everything. N I force those emotions away. I hate feeling/looking weak! I’m a very strong women n I try to instill that strength into my kids especially my daughter! But at times I’m so weak. I have never felt a fear like I do now. Like I’ve cut everyone almost off like I don’t even have a best girl friend anymore. Which sometimes sucks cuz I have no one to talk to but I’d rather it be like that then to allow people around that won’t help me stand on what I stand for but when I’m weak just going to pass me a line. So I just do it alone. Tbh but my kids are my strength on everything.
Welcome - I hope you find positivity and support with this app, Ciara
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We have these words for personality traits and such cut in the sand lines for either side of them weak and strong. I totally get that I was in a profession where I couldn't show weakness or emotions and there was a time and place for everything. When the time and place was right I wouldn't let myself feel or more importantly be vulnerable with myself to feel what I needed to, because I was afraid I would feel and not be able to stop and not gain back the composer to function in day to day life and at my job at the time. Attempt not to think of feeling as weak. Think of it as healing and that is strength too. Even though it is not always stoic. Music is a great healer.
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Thank you so much for all your words I really do truly appreciate it!
A routine is key. Wake up about the same time every day, eat balanced meals (3meals) keep sweets handy at all time and go to bed about the same time every night! It sounds like something so simple and dumb but it really will be beneficial to your mental health and well-being. Keep a balanced diet and drink lots of water! Make sure you have a list of support numbers with you at all times including hotline numbers. Go to meetings or join a zoom meeting as much as possible. One day at a time is all you can do. Tell yourself everyday “Just for Today” and then tomorrow say the same thing. Good luck hun! If you need an ear or some advice please message me.
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Thank you so much I appreciate it!!!!
The fear and the desire to use is connected to a underlying issue that hasn't been resolved. The number one problem with ourselves is trust. The unknown is not very easy to surrender to.. So, that's the core of it but the details are with you and you must find someone who has working knowledge of the program of recovery and its plan of action to find your solution. May God be with you...
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