Ok, time to be honest. Idk really know when it

Ok, time to be honest.
Idk really know when it started...
I had pain and took some Tylenol 1s, someone saw me crying in pain and handed me 4... I took them. This would have been over a year ago.
And so it began.
I was taking lots of them, pretending I was in pain, but why did I have to take sooooo many? I kept asking myself, and then one day, even 12 of them didn't make me feel anything.
Then it came to me, robaxacet, those always had a nice feel and got rid of "pain"
Then that started.
First 4, then 5, then 6, increasing all the way up to 12 or 13 at one time. Taking 50 or more a day.
A couple months ago, I thought to myself: you're gonna die and people are gonna think it was suicide. How could I do that to my kids, that would mess them up so much.
I was gonna quit.
I lasted 3 days, and I rationalized by saying: it's the arthritis in your back, you need the relief.
On sept 8th, I woke up and 8 had no pills. Not one. I've decided this is it.
I'm struggling. But it's been 9 days, and I haven't gone down the aisle at the store that sells them, I've steered clear.
Yesterday I almost caved, but, I called my sister and told her what has been going on. I told her to help hold me accountable, so I'm not doing it on my own. I didn't want anyone else to know.
This morning, I was really weepy (have been a lot lately) and I told my boyfriend, which was very hard because he already had a previous relationship with an addict and I know he doesn't want to go through that again. He assured me he will support me and that he was glad I felt safe enough to share.
Now, I'm telling you all.
I am dedicated to staying clean.
I can do this, but you all might be hearing from me a bunch.
I remember how hard quoting booze was. And how often I felt better just getting stuff off my chest in the hello Sunday morning support group (back when it was free)
Thanks for letting me share.

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You can do this!

Your doing good! Thank you for sharing :pray:

Going through the process of getting clean off of opiates and painkillers is just about one of the worst things that a person will have to go through in life. I am most definitely sorry that you suffered some injuries which led to your addiction, but I would seek out medical professionals both specialists as well as medicine research firms because what they do is they give sample drugs to various clients and see how they respond. Some of them they give a placebo some of them they don't.

You are not alone

Yeah 100% agree with your comment