Old haunt

Recovery
#1

I had a bar/music venue that I would frequent. It was my spot for 10 years. I knew the owner, bartenders, other regulars, security personnel, and so on.

If I were to take a girl on a date, I would probably go there (unless she seemed a bit off). Probably could have bought a car with the amount of money I spent on drinks.

This week, my old drinking buddy came from out of town and invited me there. I have been sober now for 3 years, and I haven't been back.

I'm not sure if I could go back.

Do any of you have old spots you miss but can't go back to because it might take you back to your old ways?

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#2

I've written them off. I can't imagine wanting to be at some of those places sober! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

#3

Yeah. I miss hanging out at my sister’s. They use and everyone who goes there does as well so I can’t be there if I plan on staying clean and sober. I miss it and her but it’s not worth it!

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#4

I have an ex girlfriend thats a bartender. Im pretty sure we were drunk the whole relationship. Its all a blur lol

#5

Give me an example? Like dive bars or something

#6

I’ve got a place like that. Used to be my second home. Haven’t been back in 5 years and I’m not sure I ever will.
Here’s what I know: if you’re asking the question, you already know the answer. The fact that you’re unsure means some part of you knows it’s risky.
You don’t owe your drinking buddy anything. If he’s really a friend, he’ll understand. If he’s not, then you just learned something about who he is.
3 years is too valuable to gamble on nostalgia. There’s many alternatives that are fun, maybe you’ll find something new you’ll really like. We’re here for you!

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#7

Just saying I think more about what I'm doing or I'm able to remember to think. It's not the same. It's part of the curse though. We gon pull through.

#8

Jay, for sure I’ve been back to my old watering holes, and hung out with old drinking buddies, but it’s not the same. Or better said I’m not the same. Not to be mean but I feel like I have evolved beyond the thrills or anything else that I got out of bars, clubbing, womanizing and beating on fools. Those were wonderful times and I’ll always cherish the memories, people and places in that time of my life. But now it’s on to other new experiences with other higher conscience people that I enjoy.
I hope this helps and I don’t sound pompous😱. I’m just a lucky guy that found happy sobriety.
I’m here if you ever want to talk

#9

Used to have a map of liquor stores in several neighborhoods that I worked at (managed a business with several locations throughout NYC). If I'm in the area these days, I pass by and if I see the owner and they see me I wave and keep on going. It fills me with so much freakish joy I get to carry on without thinking about going in.

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#10

If I do go anywhere where alcohol is being served, I usually let the staff know I am sober and let them know how long it has been and why I can not drink.

I usually ask 'old friends' to meet where there is no alcohol. There are many coffee shops and a growing number of sober bars, too.
If they decline the invitation, that let's me know I need to question if we were really friends.

I learned to be good with who I was. I learned to be good, being alone and lonely. It gave me time to work on myself.

I was changing. Sometimes, letting go of the past means letting some people go, too.

It gives you the ability to find new friends. Your new family.

There are many who understand the opposite of addiction is connection and community.

Connecting with the right people is important to allow you to spiral back upwards.

I learned it is okay to say No.

And that No is a complete sentence too.

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#11

You know, I've been clean 30 years. I've gone back to clubs. I think it took me a while to do. I am a completely different person now and I still love music, I'm never gunna stop going to gigs. I no longer entertain those thoughts. It doesn't interest me. I enjoy the music so much deeper now. I actually remember the show and how I got home! So, I've revisited places but it did take a
minute. In your time maybe you can but you don't need too.

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