On day 2 and I want a drink. But the realization I made today that finally is making me accept my alcoholism is that I give myself a lot of “just one more” talks. I really try to lie to myself that I have enough will power to go on one last bender and then moderate myself socially. But that’s far removed from the truth. I know myself enough to know that my true intention when one sip enters my body is to get drunk…
Hey man. Get some help with this. Try to find a rehab or at least get to as many meetings as you can. I think you said you were. Keep trying. Keep going.
I've felt this way, too. "One last drink before i stop completely." "Maybe I can get a hold of this problem so I can still drink here and there/socially." The lies are just that, lies. Don't give in to those lies. You have a lot of amazing days of sobriety ahead of you. These first days are extremely hard, congratulations on 2 days of sobriety!
“One too many, a thousand never enough.”
I encourage you to get intentional with your free time. Set some short, mid, and long-term goals for yourself (start simple and achievable). This will not only occupy the space in mind where the “just one more” comes in, but will start to grow incredible things in the space abstinence creates.
Thank you! Yes, it is crazy how many lies I can make myself believe over the years
Welcome brother! Knowing yourself is a great start.