On the edge. Ruined it again on the 1st. Trying

On the edge. Ruined it again on the 1st. Trying to stay positive

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Alisha, nothing is ruined, you’re here, right? Keep looking in front of you. Our lives are always in front of us. Not behind us.
Letting go of the past is the hardest for me. Working my steps of AA is going to relieve me of that feeling of worthlessness. I’m on step 4 now. 1,2&3 have kept me from drinking. Those steps have removed the urge to drink.
I’ve admit to myself and another human these steps.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that my life has become unmanageable.
  2. came to believe that a power greater then ourselves can restore us back to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
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Hey, Alisha. I'm glad you keep coming back.

I noticed that you "ruin" several times. Are you doing the same thing over and over? What are your triggers?

Working 2 full time jobs and trying to wipe away the stress and yes I blackout and forget but next day my anexity is worse. I have 2 full time jobs, 3 dogs, 2 kids, a house and never have time for myself usually

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Maybe should think about getting rid of your kids. LOL LOL. I am just kidding. Maybe you should think about getting rid of one of your jobs. So that you can get a time for yourself and for your kids. Besides if you don’t have time for yourself how do you have time to drink. Well at least you made it back. It’s like Kevin says your not ruined. Because you came back. When I first got into recovery I heard a lot of people tell me you got a change people places and things. And I found out the hard way that they were absolutely right. It’s either I got rid of the past and changed at all. Or I could’ve stayed with the past and not even be here today. You might want to try 90 meetings in 90 days. You say you don’t have time for yourself but you need to make time for yourself. Because do you think those two jobs care about you with your drinking. What is more important to you? Ask yourself that question and answer yourself truthfully. 
If you answer that question truthfully I am pretty sure I know what you’re gonna say. That’s what we are all here for we’re here to help one another stay sober and get sobriety. We are all one big happy family here. And I know for me I am willing to help anybody anytime that I can. And trust me I still need help as well even though I have a few years behind me I still need it.

Hi Alisha, first, a relapse does not erase all your successes, now we simply start again. As Ana said, try to find the triggers and work on those. I understand the stress. I average 60 hrs a week. But you have to find something else. Try a zoom meeting. I know they are there. Chat on line. Use this site or Sober grid. Everybody needs alone time. Take longer in the bathroom if you have to. Reach out. You can DM me if it will help.

Keep coming back and keep fighting! Progress is not linear! It’s ok to fall as long as you get back up!! We are all right here to support you through this hard time. If you can take even a couple minutes out of your day, find a 5 minute mindfulness meditation on YouTube. That helps me regroup and refocus

I'm right there with you... I feel like I ruined everything by drinking all last week and screwing it all up again. But today is my day 6 and I'm determined to make it right. Hang in there

Sounds like you have a lot of affairs going on. Drinking is making it worse not better. Time to detox for three days. Can you get to a meeting?

Good to see you’re still w us Kelly. I noticed your activity has been lower than usual.

I am glad somebody is paying attention. Thank you for noticing

Stop disappearing :sunglasses:

Why?

How should I know? I just have heard it’s not a good idea.