So I had one of “those moments.” Good morning, great conversation, saw my family- and then it happened. One person makes a comment, and while not meant to be said in a mean way- it affected my whole mood. This happens more often than I’d like to admit.
Since moving back to my hometown, I see my family much more often, and I did what many of us do: we swear we will never take our families for granted now that we are sober. Yet what do we do, when the people close to us, make a remark or comment that unknowingly hits harder than they know? What do we do when they rightfully don’t trust us? What do I do when I am at a loss to explain the how or why I feel like I do? And truthfully, they wouldn’t understand even if I tried, so why am I so frustrated?
The answer, as I have heard many times in meetings over my life: “take it a day at a time.” The truth is, we all heal at different times in different ways. I barely understand myself some days, and yet I expect those close to me to know what are or are not my buttons to push on any given day.
All this to say, I’m human, they are human, and thankfully, my recovery is not dependent how I feel, it’s dependent on what I choose to do. And just for today, I am going to choose to not throw gas on the fire.