I had a really bad start of day. Nothing went the way I saw fit for it to go. The more I try to take control on how it was affecting me the more I lost control of my emotions and became very angry. But just when my beast was about to take control my higher power sent one of his soldiers to me and help me remember just how powerless I was over everything and in the end I am realizing that this is my fast year being sober with out my mother, grandmother and great grandmother in my life to celebrate mother's day and my birthday and I'm not allowing myself to feel and deal with that emotion. So I can go through that process and become at peace that 2 of them went home to God instead of leaving me and the other one is grieving just as much as I should allow myself so I can come with acceptance which will give me inner peace with it all.
