So I’ve been working really hard on my recovery as of late to the point I went from almost 20 pills in a day to cutting it down to only 1 every 12 hours but today I woke up to find out some news that I would’ve rather gone without knowing but it’s okay I guess because hopefully it’s gonna mean healthy and positive growth in mine and my girlfriends relationship but I’m scared to death to possibly loose her
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Bro, not trying to minimize your fall back but I had 4 years completely sober and then relapsed because I was working nights too and not working a program as well it took 2 weeks and I OD'd on pills that were actually fentanyl. I have a wife and a 3 year old daughter. I was destroyed and defeated. I have 7 months sober now and my life is even better than it was with 4 years because I am more present. Try to get off night shift because it is terrible for people in recovery. Don't beat yourself up, strap up and get back in the fight. I am terribly sorry to hear about your situation man. That breaks my heart for real. I'll be praying for you man. It may not seem like it now but I honestly believe everything happens for a reason.
Yea I’ve Overdosed myself and my drug of choice is fentanyl
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Back in 2008, I went through something very similar as you are experiencing. My ex wife cheated on me with my brother. Talk about some Jerry springer sh#t. Yeah she thought I was running around on her due to my habit of running the streets trying to get/find pills. Our communication was pretty much nil and of course the intimacy/romance was pretty much nil because all I wanted to do or could think of was getting that high/pill/pills. When I wasn't high all I wanted to do was sleep. So I can see where she was coming from. However, that doesn't give her a good excuse to do what she did though. She could've of just as easily ended the relationship. That ordeal definitely became a huge stepping stone for me to learn how to cope with and learn from the resentments I was holding. Great thanks to the 12 steps for that. Resentments is like us drinking poison but expecting the person/people, place or thing that we're upset with to die. I did exactly what you did and relapsed. I eventually had to check myself into a psych ward and then to rehab before I hurt myself or either one of them. While in rehab I was trying to work with her on recovering the marriage and she accused me of cheating with other patients in the rehab. That was the last straw for me. I had no choice but to divorce her. I couldn't handle all that while I was trying to focus on myself and be side tracked trying to rebuild trust back into the marriage. That's one of my stories. I feel for you and I'm sorry you are experiencing it. It will only make you a stronger person in the end though. I'm also here if you need to talk. You can hit me up anytime.
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Thank you for sharing that, I have tears rolling down my face after reading that. I really appreciate you always commenting on my posts you have given me a lot of good advice and a lot of uplifting with your support man
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You're welcome brother. Remember when one door closes another will open. Like Dan mentioned, I also believe everything happens for a reason.
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Oh I forgot to thank you for sharing your experience with us as well. That is a huge step imo. Back when that happened I found it embarrassing to talk about it. My ego and pride wouldn't allow me to talk openly about it. Also thank you for the opportunity to share my experiences, strengths and hopes. There's a saying in the rooms of NA and AA, "That we can only keep what we have by giving it away." You sharing your experiences allows me to share my experiences as well. In the process I'm healing by relating to you and you by relating to me. It's a win-win. So again thank you.
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I’m here to listen if you need that. Thank you for getting vulnerable.
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