One year ago today I relapsed after 3 months sober. I never really bought into the whole “relapse is part of recovery” thing, it just seemed like giving me enough rope to hang myself. Today I can say, for me, relapse IS part of my recovery. It made me to to rehab which literally saved my life. I will have one year of sobriety on the 30th
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Congratulations Mary this is a hard time of year I’m glad you made it through it - you live and you learn 
keep going forward never back (lol it’s easier to give advice then to take it) but yes onward we go!!