Finally met a goal I’ve been trying for since August. 34 days w/ no data points. I’m proud of the 140 I’ve logged too. It has been a PROCESS. I feel all of you who are frustrated and perceive you are failing. You’re not; it’s your journey you can get there, but it’s different for everyone.
Seemed I could go around 20 days and then would have a moment of weakness, and head right to my old toolkit that included only one tool: booze. The first time I did that it led to a two month bender. The second time I caved, I got right back quickly but was super disappointed in myself. This month isn’t easy, but February is allll yellow success so far. It may be kind of an arbitrary goal, but it is another kind of data point for me. This data point tells me that finally things are clicking into place. I’m learning new ways to handle my emotions, stressful days, and even ways to enjoy socializing sober. I’m learning that a sober life is a good life. I have cravings still, but they are little muffled cries that I can roll my eyes at get over fairly quickly. Seems I had to go about this the long way, but it’s not the wrong way. I’m still here and so are you.
Quitting booze was learning to love this flawed person and treat her well. 
it’s also constant fear and regret that I messed my body up beyond repair, learning to live in the now, reflecting and getting to know my thoughts and call myself out when they are distorted or self sabotaging. Nowadays you can find me parenting myself by chopping veggies and fruit, doing yoga in the mornings and sometimes going to bed at 8pm lol. It’s not a party life anymore but it’s my life and I’m saving myself. Y’all are in the right place and it doesn’t hurt to count your days even when you have slips. It keeps me going, and logging every AF day is my new dopamine rush (along w ice cream). IWNDWYT!
