Why is it taboo to have a sponsor of the opposite gender? Just wondering....
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It is to prevent the romantic entanglement that offen occurs. It may just be the sponsee that gets things messed up or could be both sponsee and sponsor. It really could be dangerous for both.
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Paternalism anyone..?
That's a problem with a lot of these regimens: they don't actually engender self-actualization. Ego depletion is not self-actualization; in fact it's the opposite.
There's also more contrapositives for this particular paradigm than Carter's got pills, but whatever.
All the best in finding a sobriety Sam to ones Frodo, though. Whatever works for you. Some people juggle geese.
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Men to men/woman to woman
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Should a gay man or woman sponsor another gay or man or woman..?
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Truth I am not gay.so I am not the guy to ask.if I know that I would not of answered.dave
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I'm finding it difficult finding a sponsor since it seems the amount of women I find at meets is so small, or no one I would vibe with. I've spoken to my therapist about this same issue. Being that I yes, I am bisexal...BUT have only been with women for the last 20yrs (2) long-term relationships. I his take was: "even though u get along great w/ men, and don't haven't an interest, doesn't mean they don't still want to screw u".
So I am gonna have to venture out to surrounding towns when I get my license back in July to look for a woman I vibe with to sponsor me. I need to start these steps!
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I guess if you have to do with worse case scenario, pick a guy that you're not attracted to at all.
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There are women only meetings. I don't know much about them, but I've seen them get mentioned a bunch on this app, and I've yet to see anyone say a bad word about them. Mostly just that it's a more comfortable environment for their sobriety. So, that might be something to look into!
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Yeah that's fine, only asking for a friend, lol.
The point here is to provide a counter example. A generalization like this rule is sufficiently debunked by just one counterexample.
Good meeting.
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I now people that are sponsoring people who are gay and the other person is not .they are fine.so it can be done.
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Can u believe I only know two gay people where I now live? They are not in recovery. I go to group therapy (which I NEVER imagined I'd do) through where I attend therapy. There's not many meetings around here listed as LGBTQ. I found one locally, unfortunately it's at the same time and night of my group. I haven't met anyone like me in other meetings I can get to. Once I can drive, 
I pass in July I can venture further and meet other people. I really don't have anyone..not friends to hangout with. I got clean in a different city so my people are all back there...so far away! I lost my job and had to move back home. For obvious reasons I cant be around anyone I used to. I don't hangout with group members. I'm just forming relationships with them, but they have other 'life' responsibilities. So I'm alone all the time. The recovery community here sucks. It's NOTHING like where I went to continue my recovery after treatment. I just really want to find an sponser and start the steps again.
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Totally true!
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Yes, I do have a woman's AA 12&12-step meeting I go to. It's good...the woman there are mostly alcoholics. They have mentioned many times during sharing on the step of the night how people mention drugs at AA meetings. I'm chemical dependent, BUT a drop of alcohol ABSOLUTELY WILL lead me straight to my drug of choice. So a sponsor there, really doesn't make me feel comfortable. I want someone like me. I've always gone to both fellowships. My halfway house was 12-step AA program n that's where we went for meetings in the city I was in. I'd venture out n go to NA as well though. I had found for me, AA was more spiritual. Now that I'm back home, I'm not sure which fellowship I want to stick with for the steps...I'm a bit confused.
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Amy,
The group I go to has a lot of addicts too. I asked my sponsor why there were so many, and why they didn't go to NA. He said most likely that they're addicts AND alcoholics. And that it doesn't really matter either way because both AA and NA are spiritual programs
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In the beginning I would definitely recommend same gender sponsors especially for women for obvious reasons. However, after some time and if you're in a tight group it's perfectly acceptable to work with the opposite gender. I am a 41 yo straight male and my sponsor is a 68 yo straight female. She is the first person in 13 years to ever get me through the steps completely. A long-timer once told me that all matters in regards to sponsorship is that you trust this person completely to tell EVERYTHING to as is required by the steps. This person became a great friend and earned my trust and she was the one I was finally able to tell the whole truth too. Made all the difference to me and I'm so glad I did. Gender isn't as important as trust.
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